


No Matter How Long

by Sukunami



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-08-07
Updated: 2003-11-11
Packaged: 2019-03-14 21:46:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 25,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13599021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sukunami/pseuds/Sukunami
Summary: A disruption in summoning leads to unwanted complications





	1. Chapter 1

[Seifer]

Eyelids heavy while opening, I'm unable to focus on anything beyond the vague darkness of my surroundings. With only a slight shift of my body, I'm quickly reminded of the pain that had driven me into unconsciousness in the first place. Willing my body to be still, I try harder to focus on my surroundings to understand my situation. With my hands shackled and chained high above me, my range of sight is limited to the area directly in front of me. There's no way to be certain, but it appears I'm alone for the first time since I was dragged out from my latest sleeping hole.

Briefly looking around, I notice that I'm in the same room as always, or rather a cavern of oddly colored walls which glow a faint blue that pushes some of the darkness away. I've already decided that I have been bound to some kind of pillar, the stone behind me too smooth to be natural. Worse yet, something about this room bothers me, an odd energy causing a chill sensation along the back of my neck.

But that is the least of my worries, the ache of my body easily overwhelming most of my attempts at logical thought. At one point I had struggled against the assholes who captured me, but that had only earned me plenty of bruises and some deeper wounds that have been left untreated. Smirking weakly, even that small action causing a flare of pain, I try to assure myself that I have to save my energy for when a chance at escape makes itself apparent. Of course, death could be the best option at this point. Though I have the sickening feeling that my captors don't want me dead for some reason. Frankly I'm clueless why anyone would want a defeated Sorceress' Knight, which was over a year past anyway; and with me on the run since that war, I'm fairly certain that I haven't had the chance to piss anyone else off. At least not to the extent of kidnapping and torturing me.

Abruptly an odd thundering sounds from the hallway beyond the open end of the cavern, the noise gradually taking on the clearer sound of running footsteps. At the sight of numerous men hurrying into view, I frown at their unusual state of eagerness with guns held at the ready. Only one of those men is familiar to me, that apparent leader of this group approaching me with an odd gleam to his eyes.

"That man is harder to kill than I had believed, but even his skill can't save him here."

I stare at the darkly clothed man, not having a clue who this guy is talking about. Perhaps Raijin and Fu have managed to track me down, but I thought I had convinced them to forget about me, that my mistakes weren't theirs to handle. And no offense to the big guy, but “skill” and “Raijin” aren't typically stated within the same sentence. Power is his specialty.

Before I can think further about it, there's a sharp cry of “he's coming!” which is quickly followed by a pained scream.

All eyes focus on the entrance of the cavern, guns clicking as the soldiers take aim of that opening. Figuring that the coming idiot should already know about the waiting ambush, I don't bother calling out a warning. A blade then presses against my throat, suggesting that staying silent would be an excellent idea.

With unhurried footsteps, someone finally appears at the entrance. Of my past first reactions, I never before have experienced denial at seeing something that is so plainly standing before me. Blinking, I half-expect the image of a fight-battered Squall to disappear into the shadows, but if anything, the sight of him becomes only clearer. Well, shit. At least he won't waste time with torture once he gets his hands on me.

Blue-gray eyes glance up at me, his gaze as cold as ever, and yet it somehow manages to make my body burn. Hyne, even now I have the urge to fight the man, needing to push him to the point where his icy front shatters apart to reveal the true warrior he has the potential to become.

"Set down your blade, Leonhart, or I will kill him," the leader says while pressing the knife harder against my neck, my skin slicing open from the sharpened edge.

Despite that, a laugh rumbles in my throat. "Him? Care about my life? He'd rather you kill me so that my blood wouldn't ruin his clothes. Dry cleaning is a bitch."

"Shut up," the man hisses at me.

Wisely taking advantage of the small diversion, Squall already has his blade in hand as he calls upon a guardian force to handle the large number of soldiers within the cavern. A faint blue mist encircles the man as he calmly focuses on his summons, ignoring the approximately twenty guns aimed at him. No one fires at the sitting duck, the soldiers apparently well trained to wait for their leader's command to fire. They'll soon be killed for such foolish loyalty to obey their orders.

However, that faint sense of victory is abruptly crushed when I glance at the knife-wielding man and witness his smug expression. Confusion and worry overwhelm me as I return my attention to Squall, who has nearly finished the summoning. The last word is quickly followed by his eyes snapping open, those stormy orbs briefly settling on me before a scream erupts from the man. His master gunblade is dropped carelessly to the ground as Squall presses gloved hands against his head, the echoes of his scream still ringing in the cavern as he falls to his knees.

"Hmm, perhaps we should've warned him that he shouldn't attempt to summon within this room. It tends to kill people."

Growling, I pull against my bonds in the ridiculous attempt to attack the overly smug man. How dare he defeat Balamb's lion with such a cheap move. Squall deserves more than that.

With the knife still in hand, the leader punches me hard in the stomach to stun me into motionlessness. "I said, shut up. Your time will come after the other three find you."

"I'll warn them," I say with an unsteady voice.

He grins. "Gunfire will be good enough for them. Leonhart was the only one we were concerned about. He doesn't die ea--"

With remote surprise, I stare at the man who was abruptly quieted by a thick icicle piercing through his throat, him then falling to the floor with an oddly slow descent. Cautiously I look back to Squall, but the brunet is still on his knees in a limp pose. Before I begin to wonder if another SeeD had made it inside the cavern without being noticed, the dark-haired man slowly looks up from the floor to meet my gaze. Instantly I'm entrapped by the softly glowing eyes of a paler blue than normal for Squall. He exhales deeply, a fine mist forming in front of full lips that almost appear blue, something I try to attribute to the lighting of the cavern.

Without warning, an ice attack erupts from Squall in all directions, unprepared soldiers frozen and shattered by the strike that I recognize clearly as “Diamond Dust”, but stronger than it should be. Unable to do much else, I stare as the lean man reaches out for his fallen gunblade and gracefully lifts from his kneeling position. Walking with his typical stride, he approaches me while holding our eye contact and not stopping until mere inches in front of me.

"Missed you," Squall whispers before ice-cold lips unexpectedly press against mine.

Jerking back in shock, a small gasp of pain escapes me at the rough movement.

Squall looks at me with hurt and sadness clear in the oddly colored eyes, but he says nothing more as he steps back to swing Lion Heart in a strong arc. The blade slices through the chains holding up my arms, the sudden loss of that support making me drop into a painful kneeling position. Two loud clangs later, the chains connected to the shackles around my ankles are easily severed.

I chuckle hoarsely. "If you're done rescuing me, you can cut off my head now."

"Never changing, are you?"

Smirking, I look up at the man with the intent of making a sarcastic retort, but I'm easily quieted when Squall falls on top of me. My arms not wanting to cooperate, it takes some painful effort to move the body onto the cavern floor. I try to wake Squall, but he seems truly out of it this time. With nothing better in mind to do, I sit there and wait for the other kiddies to make their appearance. Thank Hyne they were never ones to leave me disappointed.

"Squall!"

Glancing over to the entrance, I watch as the messenger girl and Chicken jog over to us while the cowboy approaches at a slower pace from behind.

"Almasy, you bastard! What did you do--"

"Zell."

Amazingly, the energetic blond halts at the quiet order by Kinneas, but the baby blues continue to glare at me as if I were a demon from the underworld. I'm tempted to mention that he looks adorable with such a fierce glare, but I'm not in the mood to deal with his pointless fuming.

"What's wrong with Squall?" the petite brunette asks, her green eyes filled with unhidden worry. Killers don't deserve to have such innocent and caring eyes like hers.

Despite myself, I decide to answer the girl. "Something about this room makes summoning dangerous. It was a trap for you kiddies. Which leads to the question - what the fuck is all of this about?"

Before Tilmitt can answer, the long-haired sniper interrupts her. "We need to get out of here. Can you move, Almasy?"

"Maybe."

"Listen, blondie. Squall has put a lot of energy into hunting your ass down. I don't give a shit what you end up doing with yourself, but you _will_ be around when the Commander wakes up. Clear?"

Looking directly into the violet eyes, I easily mask my interest in wanting to know more about Squall and his plans. "Can you spare me an elixir?"

The cowboy frowns before reaching into his pocket to retrieve a vial, then tossing the hi-potion to me. "Deal with that. Zell, get our lion off the ground so we can get out of here."

The blond does as ordered, his nose scrunching when he gets too close. "Fuck, man. You're foul."

"A-aw, don't love me anymore, Chickie? I'm heartbroken."

He scowls at me, but with his arms full of the ice princess, Dincht can't do much more than that.

Downing the hi-potion, my body heals just enough to make movement possible without need of support, but as the cowboy probably had planned, I doubt I can easily escape the kiddies in this state. Getting to my feet, I trail behind the group of teens as we walk out of the cavern and into the maze of tunnels that will eventually lead us out of here. It surprises me some when the little lady asks several times for Kinneas to let her heal me further, but with an increasingly weary shake of the head, he lets me stumble my way forward. Laughing inwardly, I have to hand it to the cowboy - he seems to be the only one willing to see my strength beneath the wounds. It appears I'll have to watch my steps around this guy.

~ > < ~

Sitting in a stiff plastic chair, I absentmindedly stroke the metal shackle on my left wrist, the only one remaining of the four that had encircled my arms and legs. What can I say, I just can't get over my melodramatic side, needing to show these kiddies that I think myself still a prisoner despite their claim that I'm “home”. As if Garden was ever my home.

"You know, cowboy, you don't have to be so damn literal about your demand that I should be here when Sleeping Beauty wakes up."

Leaning against the wall on the opposite side of Squall's infirmary bed, Kinneas looks at me from beneath the rim of his hat. "Afraid of what the Commander will do to you, Almasy?"

I breathe a chuckle. "Commander? Give me a break. There was no such thing as a 'commander' before the war. Nice that they made a new rank for our little hero. Oh, wait, weren't the whole lot of you in the business of saving the world? What did you get out of the deal? The rank of 'quasi-commander', or is it just 'ass-watcher'?"

He smirks. "Do you have a death wish? 'Cause you always seem to be asking for a bullet through your skull."

I smirk back. "I seem to remember you already trying that one."

"It's been a year."

"Heh, if you think that would make a difference." Bored with taunting this man when he obviously refuses to take the bait to lose his cool, I look to the unconscious lion instead. "Are you going to tell me why this prick was hunting me down?"

"He was worried about you."

Scowling, I glare at the long-haired man. "He has no business _worrying_ about me."

"Says the man who hasn't slept in one place longer than a week because he has bounty hunters all over him."

"And yet I've managed to stay alive just fine by myself," I point out sharply.

Kinneas doesn't comment on that, letting his skeptical gaze say everything needed to be said. So what if I'm leaner than I used to be, and who cares that I only had a few sets of clothing to my name, those clothes now lost since my kidnapping. I'm alive on my own power and that's all that matters. I don't need these kids taking care of me.

The moment of staring between us ends when a quiet moan sounds from the bed, Squall then moving his arm to press a hand against his forehead. Kinneas pushes up from the wall to lean over the bed, his violet eyes soft with worry.

"Hey, Squall. Can you hear me?"

The brunet groans when he moves his head slightly to look at the cowboy through barely open eyes. "Irvine..."

"Yeah. How do you feel?"

And the true skill of the ice princess shines through as the bed-ridden man manages to glare threateningly at Kinneas with the clear message that he hadn't been unconscious without reason. I nearly laugh when the cowboy slips a foot back in retreat, my attempt at covering up my amusement with coughs attracting Squall's attention. Man, I forgot how those pale blue eyes could make someone feel like they've been tossed into a frozen lake.

"Kinneas. Leave us."

The cowboy shows the shock I feel at the order. "Uh, Squall, you do realize that you aren't in the best condition to--"

"Seifer won't do anything."

Violet eyes glance up at me, disbelief clear in his gaze. "Fine, but I'll be right outside."

The brunet shakes his head. "You aren't needed. Go to bed, get food, do something. But don't wait here."

"But Squall--"

"Go."

Sighing, Irvine tips his hat in surrender. "Dr Kadowaki will be back in the morning. I'll let you deal with her by yourself if she finds either of you injured or missing."

Squall smiles vaguely in reply, earning him another huff of annoyance from the cowboy. Thus, sooner than I'm ready for, it's just me and puberty boy in the overly quiet infirmary. Despite the fact that it was the ice princess who demanded for alone time with me, he doesn't say anything while simply lying on his back and massaging his temple.

When I can't handle the silence any longer, I growl out, "So why the fuck were you hunting me down?"

He shrugs. "You belong here."

"No, I don't. You know how much I hate Garden," I say while fingering the shackle on my wrist.

"I didn't mean Garden."

Confused, I glare at the prone man. "Are you certain you're awake? We're in Blah-lamb Garden right now, not some fantasy land of yours."

He closes his eyes for a moment of thought before looking at me. "Sorry. It was my fault you were taken hostage."

A harsh "What?" leaves my lips, myself too bewildered to manage more given both my surprise that Squall is taking credit for this and my disbelief that the brunet does know how to apologize.

"My father refused to submit to their threats, thus they meant to kill me in retribution. You were bait."

"Wait. Since when do you have a father?"

"Since the war. Unbelievably, I share DNA with Laguna Loire."

I laugh. "Is this _the_ Loire of Esthar? That bumbling king of theirs? Come on. It must be a mistake."

He shakes his head with a sigh, the tiredness in his expression telling me that he must have confirmed the DNA results at least three times before believing it. Hyne, but Loire blood in this lion? I can't even begin to imagine it.

"Okay, but I still don't see where they got the idea to use me."

"The SeeD within their ranks knew I've been searching for information about your whereabouts."

"Which brings us back to why the fucking hell should you care about me?"

Squall removes his hand from his forehead and looks at me, the stormy eyes grayer than normal.

"Hn, tired to the kiddies already?"

He smiles vaguely. "And that's why I've missed you."

Frowning, I remember him saying he missed me just before... "Why did you kiss me?"

The blue-gray eyes widen. "I... what?"

"In the cavern, you fucking kissed me."

He looks to the ceiling, his brow crinkled in thought. "I don't remember anything since falling unconscious."

"Don't give me that, Leonhart."

His mouth opens to argue, but he abruptly hisses in pain as he then replaces the hand to his forehead and rolls over onto his side with his back to me.

Knowing Squall isn't the type to show minor pain, I quickly stand up from my chair. "Leonhart? Do I need to get Dr K?"

He doesn't reply immediately as he breathes deeply and curls tighter on the bed. It bothers me to see him like this, as I still remember the words of my kidnapper that people tend to die when summoning within that cavern. I just wish I knew what was wrong with him. Dr Kadowaki couldn't determine why Squall had fallen unconscious, which means she doesn't know what to “cure”. I don't like this. Leonhart is supposed to die by my blade or in battle, not from something that would be listed “unknown” on his death certificate.

Suddenly the brunet goes slack as if unconscious or... Biting my lip, I reach out to shake the man, but he moves before I touch him. Rolling onto his back, Squall looks up at me, the sight of vaguely glowing blue eyes stunning me. I had thought the change in his eyes earlier today was an odd glare of the cavern or a figment of my imagination, but seeing the crystalline blue eyes again, I feel cold while trapped within their gaze.

Breaking the eye contact, Squall sits up smoothly and then moves to stand up from the bed. His back to me, he steps forward to the exit without a single word in explanation. My thoughts are a mere jumble after too much conflicting information in the past few hours, and so I can only watch as he walks away. The hissing of the door awakens me to the realization that Squall is escaping, but again I'm quieted when he stops at the open doorway and glances back at me, his look a silent request that I should follow.

Of course I trail the silent man when he leaves, and even attempt to stop him several times with words and by force, but Squall shrugs off everything with barely any effort. Granted, I don't try too hard since I don't need to get into trouble for maiming the lion, but knowing Dr K, I'm going to be given the riot act anyway for letting Squall waltz out of the infirmary. Given it must be near midnight by now, the hallways are empty as Squall heads for the front gates. Though I should assume the kiddies have all gone to bed, I still glance around that first floor in hope of seeing cowboy or even Chicken. There's no such luck as Squall leads the way out of Garden.

It doesn't surprise me when he heads directly for the entrance to the caverns, the mobile Garden making its temporary home here while they can attempt to figure out the properties of the caverns which make summoning so dangerous. If the secret was simple enough, it could prove an excellent form of defense. Though I have the suspicion that we'll never be able to understand such ancient magics.

Considering Squall's unusual manners, I follow at a high state of alert for trouble, but nothing approaches us in the passageways, let alone attacks. After Squall tears down the pathetic rope boundaries, we then enter the section of the caverns that had been my “home” for who knows how many days or perhaps weeks. Midway into the room-like area, Squall stops and then turns to face me.

"Summon Ifrit."

After a stunned moment, I laugh. "Excuse me? If you want to kill me, princess, you should've done it when you had the chance. I won't go down so easy now, and certainly not by suicide."

"You won't die."

"And how do you know that little jewel of information? Just because you summoned and lived..." My words halt as I finally realize what should have been obvious. "Who are you?"

Glowing eyes narrow slightly, but no words are spoken.

"Squall knows I don't junction with any of those demons. I don't need them and I don't want them."

Slowly with a natural grace, the brunet kneels before me, his eyes downcast. "I have nothing to offer but my word that you won't be harmed. I beg of you, summon him."

Confused by the desperate tone coming from someone typically too proud to be reduced to a “please”, I take a step back in retreat. "Even if I felt like trusting you, I'm not junctured to that demon."

"You can call upon him."

I sneer down at possessed man, the urge to laugh at this ridiculousness barely held back. "Oh, come on. What am I supposed to do? Just whistle and say, 'Here boy. Come on, Ifrit. Come to Papa Seifer,' and he'll--"

All of the sudden I can't breathe, a heat like hell's fire building within my chest. My last sight is of Squall smiling softly before I close my eyes in pain. A cry sounds in the caverns, the sound ringing in my ears until the roar of a fire blaze steals away my hearing. And then after those long painful moments of heat, blessed darkness overwhelms me and I fall.

* * *

 

[Squall]

It's hard to wake up, it being too warm and comfortable along one side of my body. Of course the coldness and rock hard ground beneath me does wonders to force me awake, even if it just leads to me pressing closer to the source of nearby heat. When that warmth groans, however, my eyes snap open as I become fully alert. I immediately try to sit up, but unrealized soreness forces me to lie back down with my head resting on the cushion of a muscled arm. Even so, I got a good enough look at the body next to me to know this is going to be a horrible start to my day.

"Seifer?"

The man hums out his argument, promptly trying to go back to sleep while using me as some kind of pillow or stuffed animal.

" _Seifer_. Wake up, you idiot."

Though it takes another few moments of incoherent grumblings, it's easy to tell when the blond finally wakes up. "Holy _shit_ , why are we--"

"Don't you dare sit up," I growl out when he tries to move.

He shifts to glare at me. "What, are you enjoying this?"

Right, I just love it when my body feels too sore to move. "Just give me a moment. Meanwhile, you can tell me why we're back in the caverns."

"The caverns...? Ah shit, don't tell me I actually summoned Ifrit like that. That's cheating."

Eyes closed, I try to remember the past night, something about Ifrit sparking some memories. Vague images of Seifer come to mind, the man unconscious while I rested his head on my lap. And then he woke, something about his eyes striking me as wrong. After that... my eyes open wide as hazy memories return in full force.

Interrupting his continued ramblings, I say, "Uh, Seifer, do you remember anything about last night?"

"As I was just telling you, you head case, I fell unconscious. Of course I don't remember anything."

"Just try to think about it. About what we did."

Sighing annoyed, he quiets for several moments. "I don't--"

" _Try_ , Seifer."

Mumbling that I don't have to get so “snippy” with him, he apparently tries harder this time since he stiffens beneath me. "Um, is that my own fucked up imagination playing with me?"

I sigh. "If it involves us having intercourse, I wish it was only you."

He laughs. "Such big words, Squally-boy."

"Fine. We fucked... I count three times."

"Hn, I don't know. That first time could count as twice." His voice is surprisingly smug. "Well, now it's no wonder you don't feel like moving."

I growl under my breath.

Seifer chuckles. "Should I take that as a sign this bothers you?"

"I don't like being controlled."

Humming his understanding, he unexpectedly moves the arm beneath me to lightly stroke my bare back with his fingertips. "At least these demons aren't as demanding as our mistresses."

Ignoring the chill he causes with his touch, I ask, "Demons? What demons?"

"You know, those damn GFs. Do you think Shiva and Ifrit left once they finished their fun?"

My eyes narrowed, I scold myself for not thinking of that before this asshole so easily figured it out. What else would have possessed me except the guardian force that I had been calling for. But if he knew that, it surprises me that Seifer would dare to summon Ifrit within this cavern, especially given the possibility of death. ... No, I doubt he did on purpose. Unfortunately, while I can see the vague images of what had happened, I can't understand the words that had been said before he fell unconscious. Could Shiva have attacked him?

"Hey, Squall. I asked you a question. Think they stuck around?"

I shrug. I don't feel Shiva within me, but that means nothing. "There's no way to be certain."

"Hn. Well, we had better get going before Kinneas decides to kill me on sight for kidnapping you. What the hell is his problem anyway?"

With an unavoidable wince of soreness, I manage to sit up. "Don't know."

"Oh, I think you do know, Leonhart. What is he to you?"

I glare down at him, getting across the message that it is none of Seifer's damn business to ask about Irvine. The blond smirks at the threatening glare, never one to be daunted by me. I have yet to decide if that's a good or bad thing, but it's a relief to have someone around who can actually understand my wordless statements.

With a loud groan, the large blond is soon standing in all his male glory before me. Glaring up at him, I'm annoyed by the fact that getting to my feet should take more effort than that, and I don't even want to think about walking. Seifer just smiles, and then moves toward the trail of clothing a short distance away. Well, at least it's somewhat amusing to watch him walking around in one sock, but I don't like how much thinner the blond has gotten over the past year.

"My, my, my. I think our little demons were a tad overzealous last night," Seifer says while holding up what used to be a new pair of pants and a favorite shirt of mine.

Pressing a hand to my face, I shake my head as I congratulate myself for a perfect beginning to a painful day. The sulking moment is ruined, however, when his trench coat is thrown on top of me. Moving it from draping over my face, I slip on the heavy coat with a quiet word of “thanks” to the blond.

"No prob." He hesitates before saying, "Listen, you really okay with this? I mean, I'm kind of used to drunken nights with the ladies, but I doubt that this is your thing."

I shrug. "It's not your fault."

Amused, he shakes his head. "You always were ice. Well, it looks like that I'll have to stick around Garden after all, or at least until we figure out how to get this fucker out of me. Deal?"

"... If that's what you want."

~ > < ~

Leaning against the front of my desk, I try to hold onto my calm while I eye the seated people before me. Selphie and Quistis try vainly to keep their faces straight, the regal blonde doing a far better job of a serious expression than the energetic brunette. Zell is paler than usual, the fighter still uncomfortable with anything that threatens his straight life. Irvine's expression is one of mixed emotions, him unable to catch me alone since finding Seifer and me this morning. How embarrassing to walk through Garden with only Seifer's trench coat for covering and with the shirtless blond striding unashamed by my side. Hyne help me if someone dared to take a photo of the event.

Clearing my throat to gain their attention, I begin the impromptu meeting. "I'm going to keep the explanations short, but somehow by summoning within the caverns, Seifer and I have been, for lack of a better word, possessed by Ifrit and Shiva."

Multi-colored sets of eyes widen at the announcement while Seifer merely stares at me, his smile too amused and satisfied for my liking.

"Whoa, are you possessed now?" Zell asks, the smaller man looking about ready to fight us.

I shrug. "Last night they took control of our bodies, but it doesn't appear a permanent occurrence. However, there is no way to tell when it may happen again. For that reason, Quistis, I need you to take over for me until this is figured out."

She nods. "Though this explains something that I was going to bring up today. Yesterday, SeeDs and cadets were suddenly unable to summon Shiva, and then this morning, Ifrit refused to respond to any summons. I guess it's safe to assume these GFs are trapped within you both."

I sigh, her news taking away any hope that the two guardians had left us during the night.

"So how do we know that you're, you know, you?" Zell questions, still poised to attack.

"Chill it, chickie. These demons may be annoying, but I doubt they want to cause any problems."

An eyebrow raised, I look at him questioningly.

Seifer smirks. "Come on, if they wanted to cause mayhem, do you really think they'd spend the night fucking?"

As the others gasp and cough in shock, I merely scold myself silently. Ask a stupid question... "Even so, our actions should be regarded as questionable at all times."

The large blond laughs. "And how is that different than normal with me?"

Ignoring him, I look to Quistis. "Any questions?"

"No, Commander," she says with a casual salute.

I nod, signaling the end of the meeting. Even so, no one looks eager to leave without getting the details that I know they want to hear. Whatever. As if I'm ever going to lay out the specifics for their enjoyment.

Irvine is the first to move, standing up from his sprawl in the chair. "So, you okay?" he asks while stepping close.

Before I can think of an answer, a low growl sounds as Seifer stands up and approaches with his fists balled up tightly at his sides. Noticing the golden red gleam to his eyes, I step in front of larger man and place my hands at his chest to force him to a halt. He doesn't seem to notice me, his strangely colored eyes focused on Irvine as his lips pull back in a sneer which exposes a lengthy fang.

"Control him, Seifer," I say with a hopefully calming tone.

After harsh intakes of air, there's a final threatening growl before he closes his eyes and shakes his head. The reopened eyes are free of the heated color of before, Seifer appearing confused as he takes a step back.

Turning, I find Selphie already standing at Irvine's side, her ready to protect her lover with a ferociousness that would suit her energetic nature. Smiling vaguely, I motion for her to stand down. The surprise of the long-haired man gradually evaporates into amusement as he wraps an arm around Selphie's narrow waist and kisses her temple with a quiet, “Thanks, sweet pea.”

"Well," Quistis starts, her also relaxing out of a fighting stance, "I think that's a point proven. Perhaps you both should go to your rooms to relax."

Despite being bothered by the suggestion that I should get rest in the middle of the day, I nod and motion for the still dazed Seifer to follow me out of the office and to the elevator. Talk renews in the office before the doors close completely after our exit, but it's better to not hear their plans in the case Shiva or Ifrit can truly understand what is said around us. At least I hope those friends of mine are planning on ways to defend everyone against us, and not reducing themselves to gossip instead.

"Uh, Squall...?"

Guessing his question, I say, "I arranged a room for you some time back. I'll lead you there."

"Hn? Oh, yeah. That's fine, but I was going to ask something else. Cowboy... he's with Tilmitt?"

After pressing the down button for the elevator, I glance back at him. "What does that matter?"

He laughs a touch nervously. "Well, call me crazy, but I thought that you and him kind of had something."

I say nothing, waiting until we step in the elevator and the doors close behind us. "We sort of did."

Green eyes narrow, a flicker of redness appearing before Seifer controls himself. "Hn, well, I always knew you leaned that way. And he's an idiot to not keep you on a short leash."

"It's not what you think," I say, leaving it at that when the bell sounds for the first floor and the doors open to give me an escape. A shame that Seifer is supposed to continue following me to his room.

Surprisingly, he remains quiet as we walk to the dorm area, us then taking another elevator to the level that holds rooms for high-ranking SeeDs. After walking most of the length of the hallway, I stop in front of a door and punch in the code to deactivate the alarm. I then step back to face Seifer.

"You know the drill about changing the code. If you have questions, I'm two doors down on the left."

The blond smirks, suggesting what questions he'd like to ask, but I turn sharply and walk to my own room before he takes that chance. Once the door to my private room closes, I feel momentarily at peace, that nothing can touch me within this room. It's a silly way to feel, but I need this place to escape to when I can't handle the demands of being a 'commander'. What a stupid title. It should be something more along the lines of 'stand-in for the Headmaster when he wants vacation time'.

Sighing, I move to the bed and lie down in the attempt to think my way through the events of the past couple days. It's strange having Seifer back, it almost feeling like he never left considering the ease with which he has returned to taunting everyone and striding about like he owns the place. But then there is the shackle he still has on his wrist, his sign that he doesn't want to be here. Why does that pain me so much? Maybe because I'm a fool for listening to Irvine and Selphie, letting them convince me that I missed the arrogant bastard, which then let me hope he might have as well... Whatever.

Light knocking wakes me from my half dosing state, and I glare at the door for several seconds before deciding to answer it. It's no surprise to find Seifer blocking most of the open doorway, but when he looks up, the golden red eyes momentarily stun me.

"May I enter?" he asks, the voice rougher than typical for the man.

Ignoring the stirring coldness within me, I straighten while glaring at him. "That isn't your body to control."

The man smiles softly, guilt clear in his expression. "I know. We both know that, but it's too hard to resist the opportunity."

With a sigh at my own stupidity for what I'm about to do, I step aside and motion the possessed blond inside. Though at first surprised, he nods his thanks before walking forward, and then sitting at the edge of my bed given the lack of seating otherwise. I may be the “Commander” of Balamb Garden but I still only have a standard SeeD room.

He then looks at me, a fond smile appearing. "You are worthy of her spirit, young lion, if you can continue to resist her so simply."

I frown. "I don't like being used."

"That is understandable, but... we won't be here for long." He smiles weakly, "Forgive me. Shiva is better with words and explanations."

"What do you want from us?"

His eyes narrowed in thought, he looks at his hand. "To touch without harming each other. It's been so long..."

Coldness flares within me, it taking more effort on my part to stay in control of my body. She wants him. I can clearly feel that desperate need mixed with sorrow, and while it takes more strength than I want to admit, I'm not ready yet to surrender to her whims.

He loosely fists his hand. "I know this isn't to your liking, but I, we, still beg of you to allow us this time together."

"... How long?"

A hopeful smile forms. "Only for short periods, and perhaps over a week or two? We aren't allowed in your bodies much longer than that."

Something about his tone convinces me that they mean no harm, and frankly, the sense of desperateness from both guardians is too pathetic to resist. "Don't show yourselves to others."

The possessed man is immediately standing, obviously trying to stop himself from moving closer. He bows his head and whispers, "Thank you, young lion."

"Whatever," and then I'm taken from the conscious world.

~ > < ~

An annoying buzz sounds at my ear, trying to pull me away from blissful darkness. Childishly, I refuse to wake and move a hand to pull the covers over my head. Instead, with the sheets apparently out of reach, I end up groping the naked body next to me.

A deep laugh rumbles under me. "Didn't get enough last night, Leonhart?"

"Seifer? Wha..."

"Don't blame me. You were the one who invited the demon to come in and play."

Frowning, I can clearly hear the difference between this idiot and Ifrit, the fire demon oddly tame in personality than I would have believed. Or maybe defeated would be the better word.

"Hey, ice princess, you going to let me go anytime soon?"

Startled by the fact that I'm holding onto the larger man like one would a lover, I move back with a quickness that must show my unease of having Seifer within my bed. In the cavern, it was a spontaneous event that neither of us could control, but this... this I practically asked for.

Despite being freed from my hold, Seifer doesn't move out of the narrow bed, blocking me from the most convenient route of escape. He says nothing for several moments as he stretches his long, barely covered body in a shameless manner, and then he glances over at me with bright green eyes.

"So, why did you let him in? I can see everything, but no clue what you said."

I pause before responding. "He only wants to be with her. Seemed rather pitiful, actually."

"Hn. Sounds like Shiva. You know, she got onto her knees and begged me to summon Ifrit. They don't really seem much like the demons I thought them to be."

"... ..."

"Well, what's the plan?"

"He said they can't stay within us for long..."

Seifer chuckles. "Damn, when did you become an old softy? Should we have candles and rose petals waiting for them next time?"

"It bothers you," I state while resisting to comment that a tube of lubrication might not be a bad thing to leave out in the open for the couple.

"Hell, yeah. I enjoy being controlled as much as you do. But, if you don't mind any of this, I guess I can suffer as well. Though I bet this fucker wasn't going to give me much of a choice, anyway."

Relieved by his cooperation in this, I close my eyes and begin to list out questions to ask the fire demon when given another chance to speak with him. I'm tempted to ask Seifer to speak with Shiva, but he doesn't have the same kind of control that I do. That, and he probably isn't as curious about this couple as I am.

"Hey, since you seem talkative this morning, how about explaining Irvine?"

I growl under my breath before saying, "Why does it matter?"

"'Cause I want to know."

And when he wants to know something, he'll do anything to draw it out of me. "It's nothing. He and Selphie helped me figure out something a long time back."

"And what would that something be?"

Opening my eyes, I look directly into interested green eyes. "I'm gay," I say softly.

There's a stunned moment before Seifer bursts out laughing. "Damn, Squall-boy, I've been telling you that for years."

"I'm serious."

Grinning, he rolls over such that he ends up straddling over me. "So am I, princess."

Confused, I only stare up into heated eyes.

"I was wondering when you'd finally admit it. But, I guess you trust cowboy more than you could ever trust me."

"What...?"

"He broke in your ass, didn't he?"

"That is none of your business," I hiss at him, furious that he'd refer to an important point in my life in such a vulgar manner.

The heat of his eyes abruptly vanishes as he avoids my gaze. "Hn, guess that's true enough. I'm not a part of your life anymore."

The sudden change in attitude bewilders me. "Seifer, what is this about?"

He sighs and unexpectedly lowers his body on top of mine such that his head rests on my chest. "It's just, I thought it'd be me, you know."

"You?"

"Yes, me. You were supposed to ask me, you stupid tight ass."

Eyes wide, I stare down into blond hair. "Why?"

"Because, you always came to me." He reaches out a hand and strokes his fingers along the inside of my wrist. "When you needed more help with learning to fight, you let me train you. When you weren't certain you could kill a man, you let me talk you through it. When you were afraid of dying yourself, you let me show you how strong you are."

Listening to him, I'm not certain what surprises me more - the truth of his words or that I never realized how often I went to him for help with the more difficult phases in my life.

"That's why I just assumed you'd come to me when you were questioning your sexuality. It should've been me who showed you that ladies aren't your thing."

"... You weren't here," I say, now curious about what might have happened if Seifer had been around when the fiasco with Rinoa had occurred.

He huffs. "And that's the one thing that kills me about siding with Edea."

Smiling softly, I place a hand at his back. "I said before that you belong here."

"And just where is that?"

"Right where you are."

Slowly, he moves up onto his elbows to look down into my eyes. "Don't tease me, Leonhart."

My smile widens slightly.

A pale eyebrow arches in disbelief. "Kind of sudden, isn't this?"

"It's been a year."

"Hn. So it has. A very long year," he says before drawing me into a kiss. I've been kissed plenty of times before by different people, and yet this first kiss with Seifer ranks higher than most others. He knows how to handle me, that I don't want to be invaded without plenty of coaxing. Even his hands seem to know the proper boundaries, expertly skimming the line of what would be too much for me this soon. Hyne, I missed this man who knows more than he should about me.

Seifer pulls back with a quiet curse. "This sucks."

Despite myself, I frown at his sudden disappointment.

He smirks. "Not you, lovely. Or rather, I hope you do, but I'm talking about that bastard of a guardian force. He wore out my body last night, and I don't even want to think about how sore you must be after two nights of all out sex."

Chuckling lightly, I rake fingers back into golden blond hair. "Patience," I whisper before initiating my own kiss.

Though I can imagine Seifer being upset about it, this is actually a good situation for me. While I've thought about the blond for most of the last year, I haven't been able to consider my feelings with the man close by. I have a sneaking suspicion that I only remember the good aspects of Seifer, so I still need to figure out if I could love his worse traits and thus all of him.

"So," he starts while kissing down my chin and to my neck, " _do_ you suck?"

And oddly enough, I remembered this mouth of his when I decided that I wanted this man back in my life. Then and now, it doesn't bother me that much. I think I've come to expect it and maybe even need to hear his damn cockiness. ... Hyne, there must be something wrong with me.

 

{Continued}


	2. Chapter 2

[Squall]

With my hand skimming along the wall of the corridor, I try to make it look like I'm not using the wall for partial support. It's a stupid show to put on, but I hate revealing any type of weakness. While others may label it as manly pride, I just don't want to deal with the load of questions about how I'm feeling or that I should visit Dr Kadowaki. Really, it's just stomach pains. Nothing more than sore muscles which happen to make every movement an agonizing event. I can handle this.

Abruptly there is the warning of an opening door, but not being quick on my feet today, I can't avoid the collision I knew was coming. After the hard impact of the smaller body and his swinging fist hitting my stomach, I drop to the carpeted ground and wrap my arms tight around my midsection now inflamed with pain.

"OW, shit! What the... Ah, crap, Squall? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Zell," I managed through clenched teeth.

He moves from his fallen position on the ground and kneels closer to me. "Damn, I didn't even see ya. I mean, it's gonna be dinner time soon, and you know how fast those hotdogs go... Um, sure you're okay? You look kinda pale."

"No, he's isn't okay."

Both Zell and I look sharply to the side, finding Seifer standing in the open doorway of his room. A long list of curses sounds in my head as I stare into those bright green eyes that see too much. I could kid myself that I wasn't purposefully avoiding Seifer today, but I know that I didn't want to deal with the one person who can easily see past all of my masks. While I appreciate that ability of his when I don't feel like speaking my every thought, it's also a pain in the ass when I just want to be left alone.

Zell stands up from the ground and reflexively goes into a defensive stance, the move making Seifer chuckle.

"Get moving, Chickie. I'll look over the princess here for you."

Blue eyes shift to me in a silent question. It is rather amusing that Zell is still suspicious of the larger blond, despite the fact that Seifer has been a resident of Garden for a week now and there hasn't been a moment of trouble from him. Well, unless you count him riling up everyone with sarcastic threats. Of those in the upper SeeD ranks, Zell is the only one left who is still easily upset by the childish taunts.

Sighing, I force myself to stand. "Just leave, Zell. I can take care of myself."

The short blond hesitantly follows the order, but once he steps out of sight, the sound of running echoes down the empty hallway. As if anything could keep him from hotdogs for long. Meanwhile, I continue to avoid the steady gaze of green eyes, their sharp examination clearly felt along my body. Fuck. He isn't going to let this die.

"Are you going to come in willingly, or do I have to get rough?"

"This is none of your business."

"That's nice, but it doesn't answer my question."

I make the mistake of facing Seifer after his sarcastic comment, my urge to argue lost once I glance at his face which hides none of his worry. I can't remember the last time someone looked at me with such an expression and I didn't get angry or frustrated over being pitied. For some reason, I only feel tired.

"Come on. You know you'll just be here in the morning, or else me in your bed."

I hesitate as he holds out a hand, the sight of the still shackled wrist bothering me. I've already made a bet with myself that the day Ifrit leaves his body, Seifer will run from Garden as fast as he can. Only then he'll remove the shackle, and he won't even think twice about leaving me behind. Again.

"Hey," Seifer starts as he steps forward and places a hand beneath my chin so that our eyes meet once more. "That has nothing to do with you. It's just my pathetic war against Garden and nothing else. Understood?"

I glance to the side, confused by my own annoyance about this topic. It shouldn't matter to me what Seifer decides to do with himself. I already told him everything I wanted to say and put my offer on the table. If he doesn't want me, then that's that. This shouldn't bother me ... or at least, not as much as it does. Hyne, I was an idiot to waste my time thinking about this man for the better part of a year.

Seifer sighs at my silence, and then moves his hand to my back to gently push me forward into his room. It's strange how I haven't remembered walking into this room before, and yet, three times now I've found myself in his bed, the large man always blocking me from an easy escape from the mattress top.

"Lie down and let me look you over. That is, am I right that you haven't visited Dr K yet?"

"There's nothing wrong."

He laughs lightly. "You're too predictable, princess. Get on the bed and take off your shirt for me."

I probably shouldn't trust such an order, but I find myself going through the movements of removing my jacket and shirt as I sit down on the unmade bed. I automatically bend over to remove my boots, but forgotten pain erupts through my body and stops me in mid-action. Without a word but a smirk in place, Seifer kneels down to undo the lacing and takes off my boots for me. I probably should be offended, but I just don't have the energy to fight him.

Lying down on the cool sheets, I close my eyes and attempt to prepare myself for painful poking and prodding. At the press of fingers, however, I can't stop my body from flinching at the gentle touch. Light tsking noises sound from Seifer, him then moving away. Reluctantly I open my eyes and glance over to watch him as he pulls something out of his top drawer.

"Potions don't help," I tell him.

"Hn. So you drank one?"

I nod, though it was actually four potions I tried throughout the day.

He returns to the bed and sits next to my side. "Well, I'm not going to have you drink this one. Sometimes it works better to directly apply it to the injured area."

And that serves as his warning before he pours some of the potion onto my stomach. How can that feel so damn cold when it's been sitting in his dresser for days? But I don't have the time to complain about such treatment before warm fingers are on my skin with a feather light touch and carefully rub in the healing liquid. Amazingly, the sensation of repeated flare spells being cast on me slowly subsides as the massage continues and grows firmer. In time, the full vial is used up and the touches change to something else... not seductive, but almost examining in the caress.

"I know you aren't going to listen me, but you really should see Dr K. You could have an appendix really to burst or something serious wrong with you."

"... ..."

"Right. Thought so." He removes his hands from me to sit up straight and rub his temple. "Fuck..."

"Ifrit wants out," I say, sympathizing with the headache Seifer must be feeling. I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner.

Scowling, he closes his eyes. "Piece of shit bastard. Hyne forbid I get a few minutes alone with you."

"Let him come."

Green eyes bright with anger focus on me. "Like hell I will. I haven't had a single fucking night to enjoy you. And while I do mean fucking, I haven't even gotten a decent conversation out of you yet. Anyway, you're injured. You shouldn't be doing anything tonight."

I smile vaguely at the possessive tone of the blond. "Then let me speak with him. He'll win no matter."

"I hate this," he says in an odd voice. But before I can question him, he bends forward to press his lips gently against mine, the kiss slowly deepening but maintaining the same almost careful touch that seems against his nature, and yet feels utterly amazing. As he breaks the kiss and leans back, Seifer tells me, "Don't let him touch you."

I almost laugh at the absurdity of the order, but I nod instead, understanding the odd logic that Ifrit can have his ice demon, but never me.

With a reluctant slowness, his eyelids close for a brief moment. Upon opening, the strange coloring of reddish orange has replaced the green that I am accustomed to. The possessed man says nothing straight away, his oddly concerned gaze focusing on my bared stomach. His hand moves over that part of my body, just barely not touching exposed skin.

"You are injured?"

The rougher version of Seifer's voice makes me smile vaguely. "It's nothing. Seifer already treated me."

Redden eyes lift to meet mine. "Is this our fault?"

I shrug, but it's hard to imagine some other reason. Although there is the potential of my body simply breaking down, which Selphie and Irvine like to warn me about constantly. As if someone could truly die from too much paperwork.

"I will ask Shiva to examine you. She is very knowledgeable about the healing arts."

"Who are you?" When I receive a blank stare at my abrupt question, I continue to say, "I know your forms as Ifrit and Shiva, but I can't see demons... acting like this."

He smiles bitterly. "What, demons wishing to help humans? Or worse, being in love with one another?" At my nod, he sighs and rakes a hand through his hair. "It is not an interesting explanation, and I'm not good with tales."

"That's fine. Tell me what you can."

He sighs again, obviously uncomfortable. "I do not remember how long we have been this way, but we weren't always demons. I was a human warrior, and Shiva..." He smiles, his eyes losing their focus as he thinks about the past. "...Shiva was an elven priestess. I don't believe their kind exist anymore on this world, but in our lifetimes, we were at war. In the end, we discovered that the entire war had been provoked by a dark evil. So many lives lost... After an important battle within our war, I had been captured by the elves. Their guiding priestess, Shiva, decided to spare my life. She said she wished to have a large human as her pet. Hyne, I hated her at first." He suddenly frowns and glances my way. "Forgive me. I must be boring you."

I shake my head and hopefully manage a somewhat encouraging smile. Truthfully, it amazes me that the demons we summon time after time could have had other lives. But I can already clearly feel Shiva within me, reaching out for her partner. I resist her, wishing to understand more about these cursed people, to understand what I have given my body for.

"Well, I won't bother you with stories, but Shiva is still the only one who can easily defeat me by her own power. In time, my hatred turned into respect, and that into love. But by then, we were already on our journey to destroy the dark sorcerer who was behind the chaos of war. It took all our strength and life energy to defeat him. As we laid near dead, Hyne spoke to us and asked for our continued support in battles against dark magic. We could not deny a request of Hyne. It was an honor beyond all honors ... but we didn't expect such a great demand to be asked of us."

When he falls silent, I say softly, "Eternal demons of ice and fire, never to touch again..."

"Yes, but not exactly. Long ago, Hyne spoke to humans to have that temple built. We are allowed our times to be together."

I scoff. "Days within centuries mean nothing."

He shakes his head. "They mean everything."

"You aren't even touching her. It's just stolen bodies."

The possessed man smiles. "It matters not. I can still feel her spirit, and her words are always the same no matter the voice."

I consider to argue further, but my growing headache becomes too much for me. Rubbing my temple, I look into the redden eyes and silently inform him that I think he's an optimistic fool.

"You are kind to worry about us, young lion. I didn't believe Shiva when she told me that you hide a warm heart."

I scowl at him, but he remains unthreatened.

"Sleep. Your love will be here when you wake."

~ > < ~

It is with a great sense of urgency that I wake, and then nearly fall to the ground when I find myself in a completely different position than I had been in since my last conscious moment. Clutching onto the object before me in support, my sleep confused mind slowly works out the identity of the desk. Carefully, I release the edge of the desk and straighten to find myself sitting in Seifer's chair with a blanket wrapped around my naked body. As my eyes quickly adjust to the moonlit room, I discover a single piece of paper before me. I nearly overlook the sheet as something unimportant, but then the header catches my attention - "To My Gentle Lion". Eyes wide, I first glance to Seifer, but find the blond completely dead to the world as he hugs a pillow tightly to his bare chest. Returning to the letter, I read the words written in a flowing style that I never imagined my hand could produce.

"To My Gentle Lion ~ It is with a pained heart I write this message. We have stolen your bodies, and yet you give us your forgiveness. We use your bodies for our selfish purpose, and yet you give us your blessing. We deserve neither for this additional burden we have placed on your life. Though it can give no comfort, understand that I have never borrowed the body of a man before, and therefore, I never realized such a miracle was even possible. As you are a straightforward man, I will say this plainly - you are with child. Your pains originate from the changes that are taking place to support this blessed life, for only Hyne could make this possible. While I hold great joy for this new life, I fear for yours. I cannot assume to what extent my presence within your body is supporting this change, nor can I presume what may happen after my eventual disappearance. I beg of you, my lion, visit your healers. I will pray for this new life, for he cannot help but to hold your kindness and your lover's strength, but your own life must come first."

Feeling cold, I pull the blanket tighter around my body as I stare at the letter for a long time before rereading it, and then rereading it a final time. I want to laugh at this ridiculous, this impossibility, but waking Seifer wouldn't be worth that release. Recognizing the panic starting to interfere with my thoughts, I stand up from the chair and take the sheet of paper within hand, crumpling it into a tight ball. I then step into the bathroom and close the door behind me. After tossing the ball into the sink, I immediately cast a fire spell on the paper and watch as the words are destroyed, but the reality they spoke of unfortunately remains true. The returning soreness of my midsection makes certain to remind me of that.

The sink cleaned of ash, I step out of the bathroom to look at Seifer's sleeping form. I should probably leave to my own room, to avoid the potential of questions in the morning, but I still feel cold inside and the temptation of his warmth is too much to resist. I walk to the bedside and tap lightly at a bare shoulder.

After a quiet grumble, Seifer wakes to sleepily glare at the pillow still within his hold. He then looks up at me. "Squall?"

"Move over."

With a lazy smile, he slides to the other side of the mattress. The moment I slip beneath the loose covers, Seifer wraps his arms around me to pull my body tight against his. Hiding my wince was impossible.

"You still hurting?"

"A little. Nothing that can't wait."

"It'd only take a moment to--"

"I'm tired, Seifer."

"... Fine. In the morning, I'll treat you. But you really should see Dr K."

I reply nothing as I close my eyes and promptly reject his advice. Dr Kadowaki is the last person I feel like seeing. Denial is the only thing keeping me from doing something incredibly stupid and I really don't need her ruining that for me.

 

* * *

 

[Seifer]

After the second attempt of pounding on the door hard enough to break it down, I decide to throw manners aside and just use the code I watched Squall punch in over a week ago when he thought I wasn't looking. The door slides open, and I half expect an alarm to sound or a gunblade to suddenly be at my throat, but neither happens as I step inside of the room identical to my own. Not bothering to walk lightly, I move over to the bed and sit on the edge of the mattress. Even though it worries me that I still haven't managed to wake the normally light sleeper, I take the spare moment to watch Squall in peaceful slumber. Hyne, I forget how young we are at times.

Reluctantly, I place a hand at his shoulder and shake roughly. "Come on, sleeping beauty. It's wakey time."

An arguing moan sounds before his eyelids crack open, and then promptly close once he determines who is annoying him. "G'away. 'm tired."

"It's dinnertime, Squally-boy. I let you miss breakfast and lunch, but you have to eat something eventually."

"Dinner...?"

I have to laugh. "Would you just wake up already? Shit, what were you doing last night? I know you weren't with me."

He frowns vaguely. "They're weakening, aren't they?"

"Yeah, but it's been longer than they said. Nearly a month wasted when I could've had you all to myself." I lean over to brush some hair out of his face, noting the warmer feel to his forehead. "You feeling okay? You've seemed tired lately."

He mumbles something unintelligible while pulling the sheets tighter around his body.

"Hey, I'm not letting you go back to sleep, and like hell I'm serving you dinner in bed, so let's go." I grab his arm to drag him out of bed, but I stop when he inhales sharply. "Your stomach is still hurting you?"

His eyelids open partway, the action making him appear completely exhausted. "Some, but not as much as before."

"Damn it, Squall, you shouldn't be hurting in the first place. And it's not a good sign that you slept through the entire day. What's keeping you from seeing the doc? You know she isn't a closet sadist or anything like that."

"... I'll go in the morning."

It's strange that finally getting my way only makes me more worried. "So you're actually going to admit that something is wrong with you?"

"I haven't decided that yet."

"You are something else, Leonhart," I say while shaking my head in disbelief. I don't think someone could prove to him the sky was blue if he didn't want to believe it.

He moves back a short distance on the mattress before muttering, "If you're staying, lie down and make less noise."

"Oh, no. Dinner first, play later."

"Not hungry."

"Well, I am." Glancing into hazy blue, I finally surrender with a sigh. "Fine, I'll bring up some food for the both of us. Anything you want?"

Squall looks about to decline, but then his eyes widen vaguely with a sudden idea. "Ice cream... if they have it..."

That's when I really know he isn't feeling well. How many times did Matron give us all the ice cream we wanted when we felt like crap. And with Squall always trying to put up that damn front of his, trying to prove that he doesn't need the little joys in life, he never let himself have the frozen treat unless he had a decent fever going. Such a stubborn tight ass.

"Leave it to me, Squally-boy. If you promise to be good, I'll even hunt down some sprinkles."

He frowns and mumbles into his pillow, "Don't like sprinkles..."

~ > < ~

Fuming, I make my way into the cafeteria and, though it probably isn't the best idea given my heated state this morning, I automatically go to the counter to get myself a mug of black coffee. Distracted as I glare at nothing since the object of my anger is elsewhere, I drink from the cup of steaming liquid and earn myself a badly burnt tongue.

Light laughter sounds from behind me after my loud curse, and I turn sharply to find the source of the laugh. It's a disappointment to see that it is the petite brunette still chuckling at my pain and not the long-haired man to her side. I really have the urge to punch someone who might actually deserve a beating.

"A-aw, come on, Seify. We all have bad mornings. Why don't you join us?" Selphie offers while pulling out the chair next to her.

Wary of her suggestion, I glance over to the cowboy hoping for an argument on his part, but instead, I find him completely relaxed with the idea as he smiles lazily. Looking back to warm green eyes, I realize that I have little choice in this matter. Proving my annoyance with growl, I walk over to their table in the nearly empty cafeteria and sit down heavily in the offered seat. All the while, Selphie continues to smile at me with that infinite amusement of hers.

"So what bit you in the butt this morning? Or should that be 'who'?"

I smirk, mildly amused that she was trying to catch me off guard while drinking my coffee. She'll have to do better than that to see a reaction. "Unfortunately, my little snow kitten wasn't feeling very playful this morning. Ask me tomorrow."

While Kinneas continues to amaze me by smirking at the comment, Selphie pouts. "That's no good. I swore he was going to pounce you the first moment he got, but with this guardian force nonsense getting in the way..." She sighs, "Have you two done _anything_ yet? It's been over three weeks, already."

"The hell... I don't think that's any of your business."

Instantly a scolding finger appears in front my face. "You have no say, mister. Irvy and I were the ones to watch over Squall for you this past year, so we deserve to know every - little - detail," she says, tapping my nose for added emphasis.

I pull my eyes away from her finger to then stare at her incredulously.

"I'd give up now, Almasy. You can't win over this spitfire."

I turn my glare to the sniper. "Advice, Kinneas? Didn't know you cared."

"Yeah. Been meaning to speak to you about that. Listen, when we first found you, we couldn't be too certain about your state of mind and all. So, really, you can't blame us for being cautious. Especially when we know how much Squall trusts you."

With a small smile, I lean back in my chair and sip at the bitter coffee while I try to imagine what it must have looked like to the kiddies to find me kneeling over the limp form of their leader. I'm surprised Kinneas didn't shoot first and ask questions later. Placing the mug on the table, I look directly into violet eyes and silently question if he really thinks I'm sane.

The brunette sighs. "Oh, don't play the big tough guy with us, Seify. We saw you sweet talking the caf lady into getting you a bowl of ice cream last night."

"So?"

Selphie smiles knowingly. "You hate chocolate ice cream."

I blink and stare before cautiously asking, "You... remember that?"

They both laugh, but Kinneas is the one to answer. "How could we forget? Damn, I still can't believe you almost managed to eat that one huge container of ice cream. If Matron hadn't shown up, you would've probably won that bet."

Snickering, Selphie says, "I just remember your tongue being so numb that you couldn't talk back to Matron when she scolded you. And even though you were really sick, you still made Squall's bed for that week."

I shake my head, amazed that they bothered to remember anything about me from the days back in the orphanage. I was such the little prick, doing whatever I could to gain attention. Especially if someone preferred to ignore me.

"So," the brunette starts, "Squall isn't feeling well? He always seems to get a craving for ice cream when he's sick."

I hesitate while looking into curious green, but reluctantly decide to trust her. "Something's wrong. He's getting a checkup done by Dr K as we speak."

Her eyes widen. "Wow, he went willing?"

I nod.

"A-ah, and he kicked you out of the infirmary, didn't he? That's why you're so upset."

At the reminder, my hand automatically clutches tightly around the mug of cooling coffee and I glare into the dark liquid. I had to practically carry that ass to the infirmary, and then he had the nerve to tell me that nothing was seriously wrong with him, that there was no reason for me to stick around. Fuck him. Once I've cooled down here, I'll just break into Squall's room and wait for him there. Then I'm not leaving his side until I get some damn answers.

"He'll be fine, Seifer. He always is. And we trust you to look after him for us."

I look up at her with narrowed eyes. "What are you two to him, anyway?"

Selphie straightens, then glances to her cowboy before meeting my eyes again. "Uh, has Squall told you anything?"

"Just that you showed him that he's a fruit."

She pouts, obviously not happy at my tone. "I'll let that pass since I know you're in a bad mood. Anyway, I take it that you know nothing about Rinoa, then?"

Curious, I shake my head. "I remember them appearing a bit too close for my likes, but I wasn't exactly in a position to know for certain what was happening between those two." Meanwhile, I remember clearly when I tossed Rinoa into Adel's hands. Damn, that had felt good. But the perfect high had been quickly destroyed when Squall decided to rescue the two-timing slut.

Selphie sighs. "It's our fault, really. We wanted Squall to be happy, you know? And we thought he was just being shy about his feelings for Rinoa... well, instead of helping him out, we accidentally pushed him into a relationship he thought he was supposed to be in. He was just the good little soldier boy doing what others told him to do. Anyway, after the war, Rinoa started wanting more intimacy from Squall, and the poor thing tried to make things work. Probably tried too hard..."

At her hesitation, Kinneas smirks. "He had to make like a chocobo on fire to the bathroom and puke his stomach out their first time."

I know I shouldn't smile, but it's too hard to stop myself. "'First time'? You mean that there were other times?"

"Just one other. That time, she wouldn't let him run off and he threw up all over her."

I laugh at the sweet imagery, Kinneas soon joining in with me while Selphie attempts to pout at us in a scolding fashion, but the corners of her lips twitching into an almost smile belie her true thoughts on the matter.

"Now, boys, this isn't something to laugh about. You know better, Irvine," she says, slapping the back of her hand against his chest.

"Sorry, sweet pea, but she was a bitch after that, so I'll laugh all I want at her misery."

Selphie sighs. "Of course she was upset: her fairy tale had been ruined. But truthfully, I think Squall was hurt worse though he never really said anything." She looks directly into my eyes and smiles bitterly. "He started to really look for you after that day. It was almost scary how obsessed he was about it for the first few weeks, but you always managed to stay one step ahead."

At that little tidbit, I don't know whether to laugh or scream at the reality that it was my fault for not being here for Squall, that if I had just sucked it up and returned to Garden, I could've been his first. And to think that it was for this reason he had originally decided to hunt me down...

"Irvy and I eventually cornered him and forced him to explain things. And, well, we eventually offered to... help him. To see which he preferred..."

That wakes me from my sulking moment. "His first time was a fucking _threesome_?"

Selphie shushes me loudly while green eyes look around to make certain no one heard me.

Not caring about anyone else, I stare at the two of them. "How many times?"

"Twice," Kinneas says, looking a bit uncomfortable. "I couldn't go all the way the first time, and the second time... well, we had information that you were dead, and Squall was really shook up over it."

I huff, remembering the time they were most likely talking about. There I was, bleeding half my life away while Squall was getting fucked. Is that supposed to be ironic or something?

"Don't hate him for it, or the others he has been with," Selphie pleads. "You were so good at staying hidden that Squall was beginning to believe that you weren't just avoiding the bounty hunters but him as well."

No, I could never blame Squall for my stupidity which led to those events. He had his right to live a real life, and it's not like he knew I would want him like that. Truthfully, I don't think I really knew until I had him naked at my side. It felt so... “safe” is the only word close to that feeling. And I never realized how much I craved that sensation.

"He needs you, Seifer."

I smirk and shake my head. "No, he doesn't. He's a big boy who saved humanity despite me."

Tilting her head, Selphie hums out her disagreement. "And what about you?"

I stand with a sigh. "Isn't that a bit obvious?"

The young woman smiles knowingly. "Take care of our sunshine and be certain to have details next time."

My mind full of new information and self-pity, I walk out of the basically empty cafeteria and make my way through Garden until reaching Squall's room. It's no surprise when there isn't an answer to my knock, and after punching in the entry code for the door, I step into the empty room without second thought. Kicking off my shoes, I then walk over to the bed and fall flat on the mattress. Instantly surrounded by the scent that is clearly Squall, I realize too late that this was probably a bad idea. Smirking into the pillow, I wonder how the tight ass would react if he found me masturbating on his bed. It'd probably be a disappointment. He'd likely just wait for me to finish and then order me to clean his sheets.

Sighing, I roll onto my back and stare up at the ceiling as my mind wanders back to the talk earlier. Squall wanted to ask me first. He didn't run to just anyone but tried to hunt me down first. Hyne, he's such an idiot. He still hasn't asked me about anything - the war, the torture session, or my time on the run. It doesn't matter to him. I have a feeling he convinced himself that we're all mercenaries for hire, so it meant nothing that we fought each other. Sadly, it's close enough to the truth. But I also could never pass up the chance of witnessing Squall's true potential, something he showed me only once when we sparred. How I hunger for that look of fire in his eyes.

Eyes closed, I bring up that fond memory of heat flaring within the orbs of ice, but I easily transform the setting from our favorite sparring spot and imagine Squall looking at me as we lie in his bed. While it's a common fantasy, I smirk at the realization that I _am_ in his bed at this moment. Oddly enough, most of my fantasies aren't about all out sex with the lion. No, they are mostly about thorough caresses with those hands of his... He should've been an artist of some sort, that's for certain. His fingers are too long, almost too delicate for their calluses. It's sad that he wears gloves all the time to hide them from view, but I don't mind having privileged knowledge about the feel of his fingers caressing my skin. A shame that we haven't had much of a chance to experiment.

The recognizable hiss of the door sliding open interrupts my day dreaming, but I don't bother opening my eyes just yet as I smile at the ceiling. After a short pause, Squall steps further into his room and approaches the bedside. I continue to wait him out, forcing him to speak first.

"What are you doing in here?"

"Waiting for you," I state, as if it were a normal thing for me to break into his room. Then again, I did it last night and had no complaints from Squall. Maybe it was a bit too easy to get that lock code by simply looking over his shoulder. "So, what did the good doctor have to say?"

"... I'm leaving for Timber."

I open my eyes to look up at him, but the stormy blues remain focused on a corner of the bed. "Why Timber?"

"She suggested a specialist she wants me to visit."

"Then, is something seriously wrong with you? Is it life threatening?"

He scowls. "Stop saying it like that."

Confused by the irritated tone, I ask, "Stop saying what like what?"

"That something is _wrong_ with me."

I almost argue, ready to ask him exactly what is right about his current state of health, but then his eyes glance over to me for a brief second before returning to the apparently interesting corner of the mattress. Even so, that moment was enough to see the hurt clear within his eyes. Hn. Never seen him upset over words before.

"Fine by me, Squally-boy. So when are we leaving for Timber?"

"I'm going by myself."

"I'm going with you."

"... ..."

"It's either that, or I guess you were bullshitting me about where I belong."

More slowly this time, Squall looks over at me and stares for several long moments before saying, "Tomorrow morning. The first train out of Balamb."

I smirk. "That's pretty damn early. Need me to wake you up?"

Not looking away, his expression softens. "If you want to stay, you should just ask."

Closing my eyes, I savor those uncomplicated words that imply so much. "Can I stay?"

"... I guess."

~ > < ~

I try to relax in the overly stiff chair, but it's too hard to breathe while waiting for what I can only assume would be an execution squad. I know I should trust Squall when he says I'll be safe with him, but I can't convince myself that I'm not in Esthar sitting in the very office of the man who issued the first warrant for my capture, dead or alive. Shit, of all the places in the world, why did that crackpot in Timber suggest that Squall had to come here to see yet another doctor. And what in the world could be wrong with this lion that can't be solved by an antidote or an elixir or something easy?

A side door slides open with a loud hiss to my heightened senses. Hands clutching the armrests, I resist the reflex to get up into a defensive position and fight my way out of here. Next to me, Squall stands slowly and faces the two approaching men, one dressed in a casual suit and the other in a robe that would be hilarious in a different setting.

"Squall. It's good to see you," the long-haired man says, and then surprisingly hugs the brunet without hesitation.

"Thank you for seeing me, Laguna."

The older man, apparently the president of this country, steps back to smile at him. "Anything I can do to help you. I'm afraid it's too late to see Dr Telford, but it looks like you could use some rest after traveling all day. Would you like some dinner first?"

Squall shakes his head. "We had some on the train."

At that, the long-haired then looks my way. "Is that--"

"Seifer Almasy," Squall finishes for him. "He's with me."

With that as the complete explanation, the president frowns and steps over to me. Placing a hand under my chin, he tilts my head upward as his dark green eyes examine me closely. Staring at him, I try to remember all the stories I've heard about this bumbling king, but here within his presence, I can only feel true fear that he may decide to have me killed for harming his city and country.

"You're younger than I imagined," he says, and then sighs. "Kiros. I want all warrants for the Sorceress Knight cancelled and make this young man a protected guest of our country."

"Sir," I hear myself saying, unable to stop myself. "I deserve a punishment equal to my crimes."

After staring at me with widened eyes, the man then smiles brightly, completely setting me off guard. "Wiser, more experience men than yourself have followed the allure of sorceresses. In fact, an entire country allowed a sorceress to rule Esthar. If I can forgive them, I can certainly forgive you... this once," he adds with a wink. "Anyhow, I believe you committed greater sins against Squall, and he has decided you’re a man to be forgiven. Who am I to doubt his judgment?"

With no answer to offer and my tongue back under my control, I only stare up at him.

"Well, I think that's settled for the moment. Shall I show you to your rooms?"

Squall shakes his head. "One room is fine."

The dark green eyes widen once more. "O-oh, so you also meant _that_ when you said he was with you. Perhaps... Is this the young man you were looking for over the past several months?"

After nodding, blue-gray eyes focus on me with a sense of both relief and possession. I smirk vaguely at the idea that the lion has caught his prey and won't be releasing his claws from me anytime soon.

The long-haired man laughs lightly. "I certainly want to hear all about this when you feel like telling me, but first, I think you need to clean up and get your rest. If you wake up early enough, Dr Telford can see you first thing in the morning. He seems oddly excited about the meeting, actually."

From there we are led to a higher floor of the building, and the entire time, the president talks as if he were having a conversation with Squall, but the younger man barely says three words in reply. Even so, watching them, I suddenly remember that they are father and son in blood. It's a strange concept, but apparently the two have managed to form some kind of decent relationship over the past year. Squall actually appears comfortable with the man, unbothered when the president steals another hug when he leaves us to our room for the night.

Frowning at the man's retreat, I ask, "Doesn't he care about why you want to see this doctor?"

Squall huffs. "He tried on the phone. Luckily, he knows when to give up."

Shaking my head, I follow the brunet into the room and, once our travel packs have been tossed aside, I promptly pull Squall to the bed. Before he can manage a complaint, I drop onto the mattress and take him along with me, then rolling on top of him. His glare is a halfhearted one as he meets my gaze.

"So," I begin while pinning his arms above his head, "first it was the single bed at the hotel in Timber, and now it's the one room under your father's roof? You're getting bold, Squally-boy."

He smiles vaguely as he moves a leg to stroke the back of mine with his socked foot. "Did I assume wrong?"

"No," I reply softly, and then put my mouth to better use as I gently kiss along his neck and slowly work my way up to that tender point just behind his ear. It's strange to get to this point of tasting my lion and not have that bothersome fire demon make his presence known. But it's too much to hope for a full night of peace from the demons. And even if we had the chance, Squall is still hurting, so I would never push him into more vigorous activities. While it's against my nature, I can be patient for this lion.

Moving his wrists into a one-handed hold, I continue to kiss and suck along the right points of his neck to make Squall moan softly beneath me. With my freed hand, I gently rake my fingernails up pale skin hidden behind his loose shirt. Reaching a hardened nipple, I roll it firmly between my finger and thumb, and I then smirk against his neck as the beauty stretches up against me with a pleasure filled hum. Damn, he fits too perfectly along my body that way.

With the majority of my senses lost in the taste, smell, and feel of my lion, I don't immediately notice when his body movements change such that he tries to escape from beneath me. As I straighten in curiosity, I also release his wrists from my hold. Instantly he uses his freed hands to push me aside, but apparently the rushed movement was a bad idea as my shirt is soon heavy with heated wetness. The nauseating smell is the second thing I notice.

"Ugh, a warning would've been nice..." Glancing up from the mess on my shirt, I look into blue-gray eyes that are wide in pure horror as he stares at me. "Squall? You okay?"

His mouth moves as if to speak, but he chokes on his words. Only by reflex alone am I able to grab an arm before he can bolt off from the bed and who knows to where else.

"Squall. _Squall_ ," I say with a jerk to his arm, making him stop his struggles against me. "It's okay. Really. This isn't the worse thing I've been drenched in."

Cautiously, he looks up into my eyes. "You... don't...?"

"Well, I don't blame you, no. But to say that I don't mind would be lying. I'm going to take a shower in a minute here, but first... Is it me or your condition that made you sick?"

Eyes closed with relief, he says, "Not you. Never you."

I grin, unable to contain how pleased his answer makes me feel. "Then that's that."

Releasing his hand, I walk awkwardly to the bathroom while trying to not make a further mess of the room. I don't even attempt to take off the shirt until I'm in the shower and partly clean the piece of clothing under a cool flow of water. Of course, my now sopping wet clothes are just that more difficult to remove, but it's better than the alternative. With the smell and image of the vomit clear in my mind, I'm more thorough than usual at soaping my body clean, getting a heavy lather going everywhere I can reach. Then it's rinse and repeat.

Concentrated on my task, I'm startled when the shower door opens on its own. Jumping back, I slip on the tiled floor and nearly land on my ass. A strong hand catches my arm and keeps me upright.

"Damn it, Leonhart. Warn a guy before you..." I trail off when I look at him directly, or rather, when I look at his naked and gorgeous body.

Releasing my arm, he says, "I asked a maid to handle the mess. She'll be done soon."

"Hnnn, and that required you removing your clothes?"

He lightly glares at me as he steps fully into the shower and closes the door behind him. When I reach out to pull him closer, Squall brushes the hand aside.

"I need you to promise me that you won't take responsibility for this."

"For what?"

"My condition."

"Why the hell would I promise that? _Is_ it something I did? Did I give you a virus or something?"

He bites his lower lip. "Just promise me."

"No."

"Seifer... let me give you an out."

I sneer at him. "You say that as if I needed one. I do whatever the hell I want, Squally-boy. If that means taking responsibility for another load of shit I've dumped onto you, then I'll do just that."

"It's not your fault..."

Frustrated, I ask, "And just what the fuck isn't my fault?"

He sighs and closes his eyes. "I... somehow, because Shiva is within me, I'm... Hyne, I'm pregnant, Seifer."

"... Wh... What do you mean by... pregnant... exactly?"

He laughs humorlessly. "Knocked up, with child, expecting, bun in the oven, mother-to-be... need me to continue?"

"But, how...just _how_ …?"

"Hyne knows. We can only assume Shiva affected my body somehow."

I can't stop myself from staring at him, none of this information truly processing in my mind. Fuck, he could also tell me that he's expecting a litter of kittens for how much I believe this situation.

Uncomfortable with my gaze, Squall looks to the side. "You don't have to take a role in any of this."

"Like hell I'm leaving you."

A shadow of a smile appears. "I'm sorry for earlier. I was feeling nauseated all day and didn't expect it to suddenly peak like that."

My eyes widen slightly as I try not to laugh at the ridiculous notion that Squall could be suffering from morning sickness. This just isn't right. "Um, so, what have all the doctors been saying about this?"

Eyes narrowed, he says, "They want me to have an abortion."

Judging by his tone, I state with certainty, "And you don't."

"I won't kill a child."

Though I recognize the words and firm voice, it takes me a moment to remember when I've heard him say this before. "Hyne, Squall. You can't be talking about that pledge of yours."

"... ..."

I take his silence to mean just that. "Princess, you made that pledge when you were dealing with being a killer. You meant that you would never have a child's blood on your blade. If the doctors think this... this pregnancy of yours could harm you--"

"I _won't_ kill a child."

I'm stunned into silence by the look in his eyes, by that heated flame which I adore more than anything. My entire body feels chilled as I stare at him, and slowly, very slowly, it seeps in that Squall is protecting his child... our child. Glancing over his body, I realize that this child is just an abstract thought at this point, but eventually, he will be showing that apparent life hidden within him. Fuck, what the hell am I supposed to think about all of this?

Despite my uncertainty, I reach out and take a hold of tense shoulders to pull the smaller man against my body. Burying one hand deep into his hair and wrapping my other arm tight along his waist, I rest my cheek against the top of his head. After a time of listening to the sounds of the shower while I hold Squall, I'm easily reminded that it is this which I want and need. This is where I belong and fuck the complications that may come. Nothing else matters as long as this man is mine.

"Squall."

"... Hn?"

"Can I stay?"

There is a moment of silence before his fingernails dig into the skin of my back. "Yes."

 

{Continued}


	3. Chapter 3

[Squall]

If there is one satisfying thing about this monster of a building, it's the beauty of the old-fashioned doors used in the guest rooms. Doors that slam very nicely as I've discovered over the past few weeks. And so, when I return to the room, I make certain to abuse that feature.

"Fucking _Hyne_ , Squall. Don't do that to me."

My mood lightens somewhat as I look towards the bed where a sleep rumpled Seifer relaxes out of his defensive position from on top the mattress. Without time to spare, he falls back onto messed sheets and lazily stretches out his body clad in only faded boxers. The thin knife in his hand is returned to some hidden spot along the mattress edge, a habit of his from too much time wasted on the run. As I eye the fresher scars lining his body, my thoughts shift to the few stories I managed to drag out of the blond about that wasted year, and my vague smile easily turns into a sterner expression. Stupid bastard, not trusting me to keep him safe.

"Sooo, I take it your appointment didn't go well?"

Blinking out of my thoughts, I look up into half-lidded green eyes, Seifer already looking about ready to fall back asleep. With a glare, I ask him, "Why are you still in bed?"

He grins lazily. "Wanna join me?"

"It's almost noon."

The smile widens as he lifts the covering sheet in an offering manner. "You say that as if it would make a difference."

I hesitate, but unfortunately succumb to his odd logic. How can this man make the unreasonable sound like a decent idea? And I swear that I wasn't feeling tired only five minutes ago. But before I can get onto the mattress, he sits up and stops me.

"Nuh-uh, clothes off."

"Seifer, it's the middle of the day."

"And?"

"... ..."

Green eyes bright, he moves to a kneeling position and places a hand at my shirt, but I manage to step away before he gets a firm hold on the material. His trademark smirk not fading in the least, he asks, "Why are you so afraid to strip in front of me?"

"I'm not."

Seifer hums amusedly at my sharp reply. "Then take off your clothes."

"This is ridiculous..." I turn to walk away, but he quickly grabs my wrist, the speed of the move startling me.

"I can understand us not doing anything with you feeling like shit, and that's not to mention that episode with the morning sickness pills, but why have you been hiding your body from me?"

I don't reply as I keep my gaze directed to the offending hand on my arm.

"Squall," he says in that purring tone of his. "I want to see you."

Vaguely, I shake my head and look up at him. "You don't... You still don't understand..."

His smile softens. "Maybe not, but I want to."

When I say nothing in response, Seifer slowly releases his hold on my arm, and then moves his hands beneath the large shirt to undo my pants. All the while, intense green stay focused on my eyes, keeping me in a type of daze that I can't seem to break. This is too new between us. Whatever I've been looking for in life, I think I could find that with Seifer, whether it's peace or happiness or maybe just someone to keep my life interesting. But to have this at the very beginning of our... hell, can I even call it a relationship yet? Either way, it's simply too much, and I don't want him to understand that yet. I don't want him to realize what this will demand of him if he chooses to stay. I don't want to be left alone again when I need him.

As warm hands caress the revealed skin of my hips, I close my eyes, unable to watch while Seifer slowly lifts up my shirt. Unsurprisingly, he pauses about halfway, and then continues to remove the shirt with my reluctant obedience. A hesitant hand eventually settles on what I know looks like a stupid potbellied stomach. Only a month previous it didn't seem that obvious. Maybe I looked a little fatter, but I probably could've used an extra few pounds anyway. But now I look...

"Amazing."

My eyes snap open at Seifer's voice, and I stare incredulously at his smirking face. "I look fucking pregnant."

"I know." He grins mischievously. "And I'm the one who did it."

I sigh. "This isn't a game, Seifer."

His smile not fading one bit, he wraps an arm around my waist to pull me onto the bed, then rolling to make certain I'm beneath him. "This wasn't a surprise, Squally-boy. I could feel you changing, but I have to admit, it's strange to actually see how much that spawn is growing within you. It's simply incredible."

Not allowing me the chance to argue, Seifer attacks a weak point on my neck, kissing hard at tender skin to make me inhale sharply. With deliberate slowness, he trails down with the same rough kisses as his hands rise up along my back in firm, massaging motions. Not experiencing his hands on my bare skin in weeks, I can't manage anything further than a few weak, half-spoken protests that we weren't done talking. Eventually I just give up as I stretch out to give him better access. Fuck, when did I become this wanton?

Reaching my chest, he gently bites a tightened nipple while asking, "So, what had you riled up earlier?"

I glare down at him. "You're asking that _now_?"

"Yep. And today, I'm getting all the answers to my questions," he states before licking heavily at the teased nipple. "Now, why were you upset? Was it the appointment with that munchkin?"

"No."

"Hmm, and you woke me up because..."

"It's nothing."

"Wrong answer," Seifer taunts before blowing lightly across saliva dampened skin, causing a shiver to course through my body.

I grab his arm in a painful hold, but he doesn't relent and continues to make me feel chilled. " _Fine_. I'm sick of Laguna."

Seifer stops and looks up at me. "Your father? Why?"

"I hate how he's been treating me," I mumble, trying hard to not pout, a recent bad habit of mine that I hadn't noticed until Seifer decided to tease me about it.

Instantly green eyes narrow. "Has he been giving you shit? What has he told you?"

The sudden protectiveness in his voice makes me smile vaguely. "Nothing terrible. I just wish he had never found out about... this. He's treating me like a glass figurine, and Hyne forbid I make a sound. He'll call up Dr Telford before I can say that it was just gas or some other inane thing."

Seifer relaxes against me and smiles softly. "Fuck, of course someone fussing over you would piss you off more than anything else."

I scowl at him, but it only makes him smile wider as his hand drifts down and he lightly fingers my beginning arousal.

"Though I probably shouldn't even ask, have you told the old man that you don't want to be labeled as fragile?"

"... ..."

"Right. Listen, Squall, despite what you like believe, no one can read those thoughts in your head. You have to share them if something is annoying you."

"... ..."

"Why do I bother?" he mumbles with a shake of his head. "Anyway, how did that checkup go?"

I shrug. "Same as the others, although Dr Telford seems more optimistic than a few weeks ago."

Returned to kissing along my chest, Seifer hums pleased at the good news. At the same time, his hand wraps fully around my cock and strokes with a languid pace to my annoyance. With him lying halfway on my body, I can't manage to thrust into his hold to make the gentle touch more satisfying.

"He did this heartbeat thing, too," I add while shifting to give the blond better access to a tender spot at my side.

"What heartbeat thing?"

After a couple deep breaths to steady my voice, I tell him, "It wasn't my heartbeat we were listening to."

It's obvious when the meaning hits Seifer a few seconds later, the large man going stone-still for a long moment before glancing up at me with wide eyes. "He... you heard his heartbeat?"

I nod, interested that we both trust Shiva in her vague mentioning that a male child is growing within me. "It was strange. And very fast. I thought something was wrong until the doctor told me otherwise."

"You heard his heartbeat... without me."

I nearly laugh out loud at his pout, something I don't think I've ever seen in a sincere display. "I believe someone was sleeping."

"And you're the one who refuses to let me go with you. Well, fuck it. You're not going to visit this doc another time without me, and I don't care if my life or manhood is threatened in the process. Shit. Do you think he'll do that again today if we ask? I mean, his main job is to be around to take care of the President and his underlings, so the doc can't be that busy, can he?"

"Seifer... you don't have to do this."

"Do what?"

"Play the excited father of ... this," I say, placing a hand on my swollen stomach.

"Why wouldn't I be excited? I'll have a fresh young mind to corrupt into a new form of torment for you. I can also teach him to wield a gunblade properly, unlike someone I know. And when he is old enough, I can even give him a few tips about taking over the world. Since Laguna should be a pushover for the kid, we'd already have one major capitol under our command without even trying," Seifer says with a wicked grin, making me second guess his sarcastic tone.

"Can't you be serious about anything?"

The smile fades with a sigh. "You want me to be serious?" he asks, his voice suddenly sounding tired with a serious undertone that is unusual for Seifer. "Then how about this - I have nothing, absolutely _nothing_ to live for."

Speechlessly I stare at him, bewildered at the unexpected admission.

"Well, at least that's what I thought a few months ago. You know it all - an orphan without a family, a prick without good friends. Fu and Rai were there for a time, but I easily chased them away. Fucking war..." He laughs, the sound holding none of his typical snide humor. "I was so pissed at Cid after the exam for saying that shit to me when you were standing right there, and I just had to prove that I was some badass who didn't need SeeD rules to hold me back. Phft, we know how _that_ went."

I say nothing when he pauses and his eyes shift to my midsection, his hand then settling on the bared stomach with his thumb rubbing softly along sensitive skin. In the past months, I couldn't find it within me to ask him about the war, about what he felt concerning that time. More than that, I didn't give a damn. Seifer is an unthinking bastard who does stupid things, and I understand that. But while I can't deny that I've been vaguely curious if he held any regrets, I never expected him to tell me about it like this.

"I swore that you were going to kill me after the war for hurting you. Maybe for hurting Rinoa and the other kiddies, too, but mostly because I really did a number on you. And I wanted you to be the one to take my life, so I tried to stay alive and not get killed by some idiot bounty hunter. Pretty pathetic, isn't it? Staying alive so that you would be my executioner. But it's worse, 'cause it turns out that I didn't really want to die. If I did, I should've just walked into B Garden and asked if Pussyheart could come out and play. Never in a million years would I have guessed that you wanted me alive. You're supposed to be predictable, Squally-boy."

For some reason, I feel like I should apologize. I'm not certain why exactly, especially when I think it is Seifer's fault for being an imbecile, but... things should have been different. Easier.

"For you to tell me that I belonged with you... it was something I didn't dare to imagine. But after you said that, I suddenly had something to die for again. Something to live for." Seifer smiles, the green of his eyes brightening. "And out of fucking nowhere, I get a second impossible thing to live for. A son I never thought I'd have. Hell, I didn't even realize that I wanted a brat to screw up my life, but the other week when you complained about him sucking the life out of you, I felt... well, happy. In my whole shitty life, I've never felt something so amazing." His arm moves to wrap around my waist as he stretches out along my body, his face coming near mine. His voice turning rough, he says, "I want more, Squall."

He barely finishes the sentence before I'm kissing him, the move more forceful than typical for me, but I have a claim to make. I alternate between pressing my tongue hard against his and biting his lower lip without reserve, the faint metallic taste of blood soon intensifying the rough kiss. Seifer doesn't try to take control of the kiss, allowing me to indulge in my possessive urge. I should be furious at him for thinking that he has nothing but me and our child to live for, that he should at least think of himself, but I'm not. Sadly, I'm pleased. He belongs to me and he knows it. That's all that matters.

"You're mine," I say in a quiet growl, my hand drifting down along his muscle hardened body.

Seifer smirks, his hand moving to my ass. "And what does my master demand of me?"

Before I can think of a reply, my breath leaves me in the form of a whimper as fingers press into me. Shit, it's been too long. I've waited far too long for this. Needing some kind of revenge, I grab onto his beginning of an erection and squeeze hard as I rub my thumb across the sensitive head. The startled gasp from the blond makes me grin, but the brief victory is lost when he shoves his fingers deeper into me, callused skin brushing against that amazing spot within. Apparently enjoying the sound forced out of me, Seifer continues to assault the hotspot without giving me much chance to breathe, let alone think properly.

Not quite so inhibited, Seifer presses light kisses along my neck until reaching my ear, then whispering, "Think you're ready for this?"

"Yes," I hiss out immediately, almost annoyed at the blond for tempting the gods of pregnancy to damn me with morning sickness at a time like this.

He chuckles quietly, his fingers suddenly leaving me as he shifts away. My eyes snapping open, I glare at him for playing the tease, but then notice him reaching over the mattress edge to where he had hid the knife. But instead of the weapon, Seifer retrieves a tube of some sort.

I frown in confusion. "What the hell else do you have hidden back there?"

Seifer smirks. "Just some necessities - knife, grenade, flashlight, and some lube. Though that last one is a recent addition," he says, tapping the end of the tube against my nose.

I shake my head, trying my hardest to not think about sleeping in a bed that had a live grenade in it over the past few weeks.

A light, sweet smell assaults my senses as the tube is opened. Without a word, Seifer grabs my hand and places some of the clear gel-like substance onto my palm. Moving my gaze to his eyes, I realize that he is giving me the choice about this first time between us. It's oddly not a hard decision, my hand once again taking a hold of his erection in a firm grip as I coat the thick hardness with the lube.

"Show me how you got me fucking pregnant," I say, keeping my voice low.

His smirk turns into something completely perverted as he moves to kneel over me. "With pleasure, princess."

When he spreads my legs and lifts one onto his shoulder, I suddenly feel ashamed with my stomach seeming a whole lot bigger in this position. I try to cover the area with my arms, but Seifer stops my attempt and glares at me with scolding eyes before he bends over to kiss the small mound. There's no need for words as he lifts up my hips to best position himself. The entry is fast and rough, driving the breath from the both of us.

"Holy fucking Hyne... I knew you were a tight ass, but fuck..."

I can't help myself as I laugh lightly at the breathy comment, the resulting movement of my body causing both Seifer and me to inhale sharply at the pleasurable feel. Taking that as a sign that I'm fine, Seifer begins a testing thrust, thus driving himself further into me. It's surreal to finally be fucked by this man, this scenario never even occurring to me. While the impossible pregnancy couldn't have been predicted, I also didn't imagine that our first time would be this... comfortable between us. I thought it'd be rougher, something that was just a fuck. For some reason, I never figured a bed into the situation either, it always happening in the middle of the desert or against a crumbling wall. And certainly, I thought it'd be just the one time. A quick fuck before one of us killed the other. Hn. Who knew being wrong could feel so good.

The sex is painfully and perfectly slow paced. The sensations of his cock, his wandering hands, and even his heated breaths are more defined this way, enabling me to savor everything I can about this moment. Everything else feels so fuzzy, even my thoughts of the future which have plagued me as of late. There's only Seifer for now and the feelings only he can make course throughout my body. Anger, hope, desire, need... everything that belies my attempts at being cold and heartless is Seifer's fault.

I can't be ice near his heat, and Hyne, I love him so much for that.

My eyes go wide at the stray thought, the timing in sync with my final release. Seifer curses a rather colorful phrase at my reflexive clenching, and he barely manages a few more harder thrusts before warmth floods within me. After pausing there for a time, he smirks in a lazy proof of conquest and pulls out from me before dropping next to my side. It's almost frightening how easily his arm curls around my raised stomach, him uncaring about the semen there.

"You're amazing," he states before gently kissing behind my ear.

I distractedly hum out the affirmative, my mind still focused on trying to figure out where that one stray thought had come from. I've known for some time that I need this man in my life, but to call it love...

"A shame we had to wait this long. So many potential hours of fuck time wasted."

"Hn." ... It must be too soon to say I love him, to open myself up for that pain. While I want to have him always at my side, while I want to make him mine, it doesn't have to do anything with love... Does it...?

Seifer moves up onto an elbow to scowl down at me. "What, already comparing me to someone else?"

"Who?" ... But what if I do want to love him? What if I'm just afraid that he won't reciprocate such a ridiculous thing? Soldiers, or rather heartless mercenaries who kill for money, should know nothing of love. It should be beneath us. And yet...

"That's what I'd like to fucking know," he growls out.

Pulling out from my thoughts, I stare at the abruptly upset man. Clarity of the situation is slow to come to me, but when it does, I grin with amusement. "Afraid you were inadequate?"

It's vague, but I catch Seifer's wince which he covers up by deepening his scowl.

Though I could drag this out, I feel too tired to be bothered by a sulking lover. "Only two, technically three, people have fucked me. And in Irvine's case, I was thinking of you the whole time."

"And the second?" he asks suspiciously.

I slap the back of his head. "Only you would be jealous of a guardian force using your body."

He frowns in thought. "But Selphie said there were others."

"There were. None dared to suggest fucking me, and I only got this far with two guys. It was pretty sad in both cases," I say, implying that I'd rather not talk about it.

His resulting relieved smile is short-lived. "Shit, as if I'm one to talk. I've had--"

I press fingers against his lips to stop the words I don't need to hear. "It doesn't matter. But I'll warn you only once - I won't stand for an unfaithful lover."

A pale eyebrow arches at that. "Lover, is it?"

"Would you rather 'fuck buddy'?"

He chuckles as he pulls away my hand, then gripping it tightly. "Hearing you say that is almost as strange as 'lover', but I think I like the sound of the former. Though just to make certain, say it again for me," he says while leaning in close.

"... Lover," I whisper, the word barely said before I'm kissed deeply, but briefly. When he pulls a short distance away, I distractedly say “lover” once more, earning another deep kiss. I can't make myself stop saying it, the addition of “my” at some point slipping into the repetition. Only after one particularly long kiss do I feel satisfied and rest my head on his shoulder.

With a press of lips to my head, Seifer says in an almost unheard voice, "Thank Hyne I lived long enough to hear those words."

 

* * *

 

[Seifer]

I wake up late into the night hours, something instantly feeling wrong before I open my eyes. I take a second to first analyze the situation based on my other senses, and when I'm not able to identify any warning signs of danger, I slowly open my eyes and scan the bedroom. It doesn't take long before my eyes settle on Squall, the man oddly up and in a sitting position against the headboard as he clings onto the large shirt which no longer hides his growing stomach at this midpoint into the pregnancy.

"Everything okay, Squall?"

The man flinches before he turns to me, the soft glow of blue from his eyes highlighting the tears that glide down his cheeks.

"Shiva..." I whisper, at first startled and then somewhat upset at her for taking over my lion. I lean up onto an elbow and ask, "What the fuck do you want?"

The possessed man attempts a smile but fails miserably. "I desire nothing more than what you have already given us. Merely... I cannot exist in this body any further and I wished to say goodbye."

I scoff. "You know, we thought you were only sticking around for a couple weeks, not five fucking months, so don't give me this crying act."

A nod. "Normally, we cannot survive in humans for such a long time, but..." The ice-cold eyes focus on me, almost peering through me. "You both understand. No matter how long, no matter what happens, no matter what it takes, you will care for one another. Just as I will never let go of Ifrit. I believe for that reason we were able to feed on your connection to each other and survive in your bodies for an extended amount of time."

Though greatly bothered by the idea that we were used as apparent food for these demons, I bite back the urge to fight with Shiva since there are more important things at stake at this moment. "While I've been waiting to have control over my own freaking body again, if you leave him... what will happen to Squall?"

A faint smile appears. "Your lion is strong on his own power. In truth, I believe my energy conflicted with his, making this pregnancy worse than it should have been at first. My presence has been weak for some time now, and he was able to take over the protection of the unborn one. I believe both will be fine after I must leave."

"Then why the hell stay and plague us with your presence for this long?" I growl out.

"I have been selfish," the possessed man states, his hand relaxing to rub lightly along the curve of stomach. "I have never experienced such a miracle before and it became addicting."

"That isn't your child. He belongs to Squall and me."

The vague smile widens. "It pleases me to hear you say such words. I do not understand you as well as this one, and I feared that you would reject the unnatural child."

I growl in response, wishing that I could better show the guardian force how much I despise being judged by her.

"Ifrit has already left your body," Shiva states in a quiet voice. "And I shall go soon, but I have a final request."

"How dare you ask something more of us."

The glowing blue flickers in the darkness. "Deny it if you wish, as you have already given us so much, but... After the child has been born, return to the caves to summon--"

"Fuck no! I'm not giving you my body again, you frozen bitch." And damn her for being in Squall's body, making it impossible for me to attack the demon without harming my lion.

Pained eyes glance away from me. "We cannot take your bodies or any human body again for decades. We need time to regain the energy we have lost. But at the temple, we can see this world clearer and for a longer time in our spirit forms. I beg of you, let us see this blessed child. I desire to see what eyes this child born from such fathers will bear."

With all of my being, I want to deny the damn request, to tell her to fuck off. But in the end, I know it isn't truly my decision, at least not alone. Unable to speak for Squall, I remain silent as I glare into the softly glowing eyes which refuse to meet my gaze. Gradually, that glow fades as a few more tears slip down the pale cheeks. And, without her receiving an answer, there is a drawn-out exhale before the stormy eyes return to their normal shade and blink with confusion.

"Squall."

He looks over at me sharply, his expression a shocked and questioning one.

"Hey, you okay?"

The dark-haired man frowns. "Why ask that?"

I grin at the irritated tone. "We're finally rid of those parasites."

His normal awareness still lacking, it takes Squall several moments to fully understand the meaning of my words. Instantly, a hand goes to his stomach as his eyes go impossibly wide in panic. His mouth opens in the attempt to speak, but he chokes on his voice.

I place my hand on his. "Everything is good. The ice bitch said that you can handle this without her messing around in your head."

He closes his eyes at the words and breathes deeply in relief, the action surprising me somewhat. I know he hates this entire ordeal, within perfect reason of course, but I didn't really think about whether or not he could despise the pregnancy and yet still care for that piece of life hidden within his body. To see him worried about our child's safety before his own... it makes me love him that much more.

"Lie down," I order softly. "You should be tired."

He doesn't argue and moves to rest on his side, only then palming away the moisture from his cheeks. Eyeing the liquid on his hand, he asks, "Shiva can cry?"

"Apparently," I say, not offering anything further in explanation for the moment. I still don't want to fulfill the demon's request, but looking into the blue-gray eyes which everyone else misjudges as pure ice, I know that Squall won't deny the final plea of the guardian force. Damn him for being a good guy.

After staring at his hand wetted with tears for a time longer, Squall shifts closer to me and curls somewhat to wrap the sheets tighter around his always chilled body. I place my arm comfortably around his waist and bury my face into the thick brown hair which smells faintly of the sea. Despite my frustration at the interfering demons, sleep eventually overtakes me as I listen to Squall breathe in a slow cadence, the man somehow able to calm me even when he isn't awake himself.

~ > < ~

Leaning against the doorway, I watch amusedly as Squall sits across from his father and, of all things, debates politics with the Estharian President. At least they're going on about war politics, but I never imagined the quiet lion one to bother with stating his beliefs in such an aggressive manner. Actually, I'd bet that he never did anything like this before, but there's something about this Loire character which compels Squall to correct the old man's idealistic views. Hell, even I occasionally feel like yelling at the man to grow up and deal with harsh reality already.

In the middle of Laguna's rant about technology's potential to bring peace if people wouldn't focus on creating the better weapon, Squall scowls in a familiar manner and shifts in his seat. I only smirk at his discomfort, curious to see if the dark-haired beauty would dare to speak out first, or if he could wait out the old man. Surprisingly, Laguna stops himself in mid-sentence and lowers his arm from his ”I'm making an important point” position.

"Ah, is the little one having fun with his favorite squeeze toy?"

Squall's reply is to glare at me, his object of hate for this situation.

Chuckling, Laguna waves his hand to the side door. "Don't let me keep you waiting."

With some effort, the brunet pushes himself up from the small couch and walks with less grace than normal to the bathroom. I don't remember him appearing so beautiful.

"Care to have a seat?"

Looking away from the closed door, I stare into deep green before I decide to follow the implied order. It's so simple to trust this man, to follow his word. It doesn't surprise me anymore that he is Squall's old man, both of them holding the ability to lead so absolutely without their followers feeling oppressed by such leadership. On the surface, neither appear the leader, and yet no one can imagine another in their place. If only I could figure out how the hell they manage to do that.

Not even trying to hide his smile, Laguna asks, "How's your eye?"

With the black eye remembered, I lightly finger the bruised skin. "It should be gone by tomorrow."

"And what did you say to deserve that beauty?"

"Phft, wish I knew. I can't remember anything about yesterday morning."

The old man laughs. "I still think you're being stubborn to not use a potion on that, especially since you refuse to have anyone junctioned with a guardian force near you or Squall."

"I don't like wasting healing materials."

He nods, the soldier in him understanding my reluctance to use potions on minor injuries. "Then maybe you need to work on your dodging abilities."

I scoff. "As if I ever see them coming beforehand..."

Leaning back into his chair, Laguna sighs. "It's good to see him so lively. I was afraid..." He trails off in thought, his eyes taking on a guarded look that I have rarely seen on the man. But a moment later, the typical warmth returns to the dark green as he asks, "Anyway, have you decided on your plans for the coming months?"

"Squall doesn't want to make up his mind, but I'm betting that he'll want to head back to Balamb. He can't stop running that place, even when he's hundreds of miles away. And from the sound of it, Cid is priming him for the headmaster position. Though if you want my opinion, that lion has been in charge of B Garden since the war."

The old man forces a smile. "He should go where he is needed. But what about you? I don't believe many trust you over there."

"Squall trusts me and that's all I give a shit about."

"And your son's trust, too, of course."

Hesitating, I shake my head. "Nah, he'll probably hate me. But that's fine by me."

Dark green eyes narrow in a familiar threatening glare. "Don't think that you can handle what you can't even begin to imagine."

I look away from the intense gaze and stare at the closed door. "I fucked up and I'm ready to accept the consequences for that. I can't rely on the luck I've had thus far."

The president sighs. "I thought I was ready, too, but I also didn't think that I would meet my son again. It's strange to love a person without even knowing him, especially when I know he doesn't share that love for me. I'm not so blind to think that he wanted to share this recent miracle with me, but rather he was forced to use me to get to Dr Telford. I can't be certain if he would have ever told me about the child otherwise. And for him to call me 'Laguna'... I can't begin to explain that pain, and it's certainly something I would never wish upon another person."

"Can you blame him?"

"Of course not," Laguna states with passion. "But you can't go into this with the belief that your own blood will hate you when you've done nothing wrong accept fall under the lure of a sorceress."

"It's not like I want to be hated, but I have to face that reality."

"You don't--"

I look back at the man, interrupting his “love saves everyone” speech. " _I do_. This is my son and I will hide nothing from him. I love him too much for less."

The resulting silence is broken by the sound of an opening door, and when I glance over at Squall, I stand at the sight of an unusual expression on the brunet's face. With one of his arms wrapped tightly around his stomach, he hesitates before stepping into the main room and towards the sofa.

"Hey, you okay?" I ask, just about ready to bolt for the nearest phone to contact the doctor. At eight months, a premature birth wouldn't be overly surprising, but unlike the pregnant women on this planet, Squall can't do a nature birth. In fact, it'd probably kill him, but I'm not going to allow that to happen.

His expression hardens. "I would tell you if something was wrong, idiot."

I'm able to relax at the words, and when he is in reach, I help the unbalanced man to sit on the sofa. "Then what was with that face?"

Looking into my eyes, Squall says, "That door isn't soundproof."

There's nothing for me to say in reply as I reach out to take his hand and grip it firmly in a silent confirmation that I meant everything I said. He smiles vaguely at that, his eyes telling me that we'll speak later about some of what I mentioned.

He then turns to his old man. "I'm sorry, Laguna, but I've already warned you that I doubt I could ever see you as a father."

The president surprisingly smiles. "I know that, and I've accepted it more or less, but I don't want to watch another person go through what I have."

Squall shakes his head. "You can't be my father, but... I hope my son has a grandfather."

Laguna looks speechless for once. "Squall..."

With a quiet laugh, the brunet presses our hands against his rounded stomach and says, "I feel bad for him. None of us know how to raise a child, and yet he's stuck with us. It'll be hard on him."

I scoff. "As if an easy life could be more fun."

A mysterious smile in place, Squall leans against my side and says nothing more.

Laguna clears his throat. "Well, sorry to be a nag about this, but since I expect my grandson to visit me at every chance possible, I want to talk with you both about plans for a nursery..."

~ > < ~

Staring down at my lion, I come to the annoying realization that doing nothing can be damn near impossible. Lying on a gurney, Squall takes deep breaths as drug-hazed eyes gaze up at the ceiling. One hand clutches at the sheets covering his body while his other hand doesn't spare any strength while gripping onto my hand. But I don't complain since it's my own fault for forcing him to hold my hand in the first place.

"What am I doing?" he whispers in a slight slur. "I can't... I shouldn't... This isn't happening."

"Too late to change your mind, Squally-boy. You have to see this through to the end."

His eyes watering, he shakes his head. "It's stupid. We can't... Hyne, what was I thinking?"

I place my free hand at his cheek and lightly press my thumb over his lips. "It's just the drugs making you doubt yourself. We're going to do this and everything will be perfect. Understood?"

"... Why are you here?"

"You said you wanted me here."

His hand goes limp in my hold. "Then, you don't want to be here?"

The question asked in a child-like way scares me for some reason, and so I hesitate while I attempt to think of the right response. Sad how Squall always says that he is the one terrible at speaking, that he can't manage to say what is running through his head, but despite his few words, he rarely fails to say exactly what you need to hear. Maybe not what you want to hear, but that's something only weaker people think they need to hear. And I hate him for that ability which I can't mimic, especially at this moment when I can't think of one way to prove to him that I want to be with him no matter the situation.

"Seifer..."

Looking into hazy eyes, I realize that I'm losing him because of my hesitation. And despite that realization, I can't make my mouth work to form the words I need to say. I grip onto his hand with dangerous strength, silently begging the man to tell me what I can say to make things right once again. Hyne knows that I can't do it by myself. But Squall offers me nothing, so I do the one thing that I do know something about: I kiss him. He doesn't react immediately, perhaps purposely to make me worry or maybe it's because of the pain killers he's on, but eventually he contributes to the hard kiss.

After a time, I bury my free hand deep into his hair and break off the joining to tell him in a low voice, "Don't you fucking leave me."

Reddened lips form a soft smirk, his only reply.

The sound of an opened door and a high-pitched voice from behind me interrupts the moment. "I'm sorry, sirs, but we should proceed to the operating room..."

I don't look back at the nurse when I speak in a growled tone, "Take good care of my lion and cub, or I'll kill everyone standing here." Funny how the ability to return to my Knight persona is an easy one when it matters.

The nurse forces a laugh, the woman obviously uncertain about my sincerity about the matter. But before I can assure her that killing people is career passion of mine, a hand slaps my back without reserve.

"Now, now, Seifer. Threatening the medical staff won't make Squall any safer than he already is. Come on, we should go to the observation room." Forcing me to step back to give him space, Laguna places a hand at his son's raised stomach and lightly kisses the vaguely sweaty forehead. "We'll be watching the entire time, and then we'll join you to see our newest addition. All right?"

Squall nods tiredly. "I want this over with."

Chuckling, the old man forces me to release the hand still within my hold. "We know. And as soon as I drag your protector into the next room, Dr Telford can get started."

Reluctantly I'm dragged away by the Estharian leader just as Squall is wheeled into the operating room. It kills me to be forced to watch this all from behind glass, but the doctor is being annoyingly cautious about this matter. Even so, I have a feeling that his medical crap is a sham to keep an infamous murderer away just in case something goes wrong. Either way, I have to live through the torture of watching my defenseless lion split open by a blade. It's a small cut to begin with, but it bothers me to see him opened up so simply. During the course of the operation, I don't understand much of what's being said over the speaker, but eventually I recognize one phrase well enough.

"What in the world...?"

Practically pressed up against the glass at that point, I ask, "What's happening? What's wrong? Squall!"

"Calm down, son." Laguna steps over to the intercom, the limp in his step belying his steady voice. "Doctor, what seems to be the problem?"

The short man shakes his head and steps aside. "It seems my confusion about the lacking uterus has an explanation after all."

Staring into the horizontal incision, it's not hard to see the odd glow of blue and red swirling in a flame-like dance. Though the sight should probably make me nervous, I instead feel relieved that the cub has been protected all this time by more than flesh. To think that Squall wanted to protect our child this much...

"It appears to be similar to barrier magic, but with different properties," Dr Telford says with interest as he unprofessionally pokes at the shield. "I've heard of innate magic before, but to be revealed like this... simply incredible. But we have more important matters at the moment. Sir Leonhart, I need you to relax and lower the shield."

Squall mumbles something in an irritated voice to the doctor, and after a long moment of deep breaths, the shimmer of blue is lost to the fire of golden red. The balding man tells Squall to try harder, that the child can't be born otherwise, but the shield doesn't fall. So focused on the event in front of me, I nearly jump when a hand is placed upon my shoulder.

"Seifer. It's okay now. Let go."

"Let go...?

With a smile, Laguna nods. "Your son will be safe, but first you have to let him free."

I stare at the old man for a long moment before I return to the view of the operation room. My eyes easily meet Squall's tired gaze, the brunet smiling at me with an oddly knowing hint. Smirking weakly at him, I nod and watch as the red light fades from the open wound. The doctor hurriedly goes back to his duty, but I stay joined with the hazy blue-gray eyes of my lion. Soon enough a loud cry echoes over the intercom, the irritating noise oddly beautiful to my ears. Squall laughs lightly at the sight and sound of our son held in the nurse's arms, and then the man promptly falls unconscious.

 

* * *

 

[Squall]

A soft, not quite melodious song wakes me from deep sleep, the singing voice somewhat familiar, but I can't identify it straight away. Blinking away the haziness of my vision, I look to the side and watch amusedly as Seifer attempts to sing a lullaby to which he obviously doesn't remember the words. Glancing lower, I look at the whining bundle cradled in muscular arms, the sight of the newborn making me inhale in surprise.

Seifer looks over at the sound, his lips then forming an overly pleased smirk. "About time you woke up. This little guy has been waiting for his mommy all day."

"I'm not his 'mommy', idiot. We already talked about that," I say with less force than I had hoped for. Sitting up in the bed, I wince at the soreness of my midsection.

"Careful. The munchkin said that your body is still going to be sore after all the changes it went through, and potions aren't going to help with that." Moving to sit on the edge of the bed, Seifer gives me a better view of our apparently fussy child. "Ready to hold him? He's been antsy since he was born, and I'm guessing that it's because he wants you."

"He's too young for something like that," I mutter as I reach over and hold the babe as I was taught. Staring at the reddened face of my son, I'm immediately overwhelmed by his existence and everything it implies. "This... came from me?"

Seifer chuckles as he wraps an arm around me. "Seems impossible, doesn't it?"

I nod dumbly, my eyes locked onto the newborn's scrunched face as he finally seems to relax in my hold and readies for sleep.

"I told you that he wanted his mommy," the large man whispers into my ear.

"Seifer..." I growl out softly, not wanting to disturb the child.

"So what's the little guy's name anyway?"

"I... I was thinking of Asher."

"Asher Leonhart? A little odd, but I could get used to it."

My smile fades at his words and I try to remember what we talked about before the operation. I vaguely recall being a panicked mess, that I had asked Seifer something important, but I can't grasp onto that memory. Even so, it bothers me that he automatically assumed this child would take my name. As if he held no real claim over his son, the child he unconsciously helped me to protect throughout most of the pregnancy. And I never understood before what Ifrit meant in our last meeting about Seifer taking his overprotective nature to higher levels.

"Squall?" he asks after I'm apparently silent for too long.

"The name doesn't mean anything. Whichever family name he takes, he is still _our_ son."

After a quiet pause, Seifer places a hand at my chin and makes me look up into bright green eyes. "I know that, and I'm not going anywhere. Remember? I'm going to use him to take over the world, and that means I'll have to start corrupting him while he's young."

Once again able to relax, I rest my head against the blond's chest so that I can watch the sleeping boy. "Remind me to punch you later."

"Sure, princess. I'll put that on your to do list right after 'castrate the bastard who got me pregnant'."

"I think there was a part about slicing off your dick and jamming it up your ass, but castrating will be good enough for the time being."

Seifer hums in a disapproving manner. "Such language in front of my son. You should be ashamed."

"Ashamed of you? Constantly."

Laughing, he runs strong fingers through my hair and kisses the top of my head. "Love you, too, Squally-boy."

I just smile, relieved that it's this easy between us. While I silently thank Hyne for bringing this blond pain back into my life, I gently stroke a finger along the soft skin of my son's cheek. He shifts at the light touch, but thankfully doesn't wake. Moving lower, I take hold of a tiny hand that barely peaks out from the covering of the light blue fabric. Reflexively the newborn grasps onto one of my fingers, the grip tighter than I would have imagined. Eventually Seifer reaches over to cup our hands into his larger hold, his thumb lightly rubbing along the small arm mostly hidden in the blanket. For a long time, there's nothing but the quiet breaths of our son, the calming sound surprisingly putting Seifer to sleep as he leans heavily against me and begins to snore softly.

Sighing, I speak quietly to the resting babe. "Do me a favor and don't take after this idiot. I don't think I could handle it, let alone the rest of the world." The boy breaths deeply at that, something that I decide to take as a sign of agreement. "And if you dare call me 'mommy', I'll murder your father."

 

* * *

 

[Epilogue]

[Squall]

As the final words of the summoning slip from my lips, I slowly open my eyes to view the swirl of a blue wind that eventually takes the shape of a slim woman. Next to her, a reddish haze condenses into a fire demon easily twice her size, but Shiva shows no fear of her eternal lover. Instead, she glances at him with a bittersweet smile as she folds her hands together to suppress her urge to reach out to him.

"Aunty Shiva. Uncle Ifrit!"

I look down at the small boy trying to escape his father's strong hold. An amused smile creeps into my expression as I say, "Let him go, Seifer."

Not bothering to hide his displeasure, the blond glares a silent warning at the summoned guardian forces before he finally releases the hold on his son's wrist. Without hesitation, the young boy runs up to the demons and stops just before coming in contact with the kneeling Shiva. Her delighted smile never fails to amaze me, especially after so many years of only witnessing her stony expression during an attack.

"I hate this," Seifer growls out while wrapping an arm tightly around my waist as if to protect me from the GFs.

I don't reply to the common complaint, something Seifer makes certain to mention every time we bring Asher here. While I have given into his demand that I can no longer use GFs in battle or otherwise, I refuse to deny Shiva and Ifrit these visits with the child who wouldn't exist if it weren't for their interference. On some level, Seifer understands that and may even be grateful to them, but that won't stop the idiot from whining.

As we watch silently, Asher speaks quickly to the guardian forces about his recent birthday party, the six-year-old used to the time constraint of these meetings. Just as he barely manages to finish the story about Laguna accidentally dropping the birthday cake with lit candles onto Seifer's lap, the two spirits slowly fade into nothing, the sound of a melodious laugh complemented by a deeper chuckle still echoing in the cavern after their departure.

With an eerily familiar pout, Asher turns to face us. "I didn't get to tell them about my new sword."

I smile at the mention of the wooden practice sword, easily the boy's favorite present for this year. "You can tell them next time. Your grandfather is waiting for us."

That brightens his expressions some. "Can we ride that elevator thing again?"

Before I can remind Asher that he nearly threw up the last time we rode the long elevator into Esthar, Seifer replies with an overly cheerful, "Of course we can, kiddo."

"Yes!" And with that, our son promptly runs to the exit of the temple and to the waiting car.

"Seifer..."

"Lighten up, Squally-boy. He needs to build up a stronger constitution. You know that he has a family reputation to live up to."

Shaking my head, I let the larger man guide me outside. "He's not going to make it to seven, is he?"

Seifer chuckles. "You said that about ages four through six, and he's still running around like a maniac. Hyne knows where he gets all that energy."

"From me," I mutter while leaning against the larger man.

"Fine by me. It just makes you easier to catch if you're too tired to run away." Whispering into my ear, he adds, "You know, Laguna would be happy to take the kid off our hands for a few days."

I shiver when a wet tongue slips along the curve of my ear, the move making me murmur a “we'll see” instead of my initial urge to reject the suggestion. I guess it _has_ been several months since our last chance to enjoy a night or two alone, and Seifer owes me a few favors that I bet he thinks I've forgotten about. That should make it worth the worry associated with leaving Asher in my father's care. At least Kiros and Ward manage to keep the “grandfather's right to spoil his grandson” situations down to a minimum.

"Mmm, I like that smile," Seifer says in a rough voice, his pace increasing as we near the car. But before he can push me to the passenger side of the car, I stop abruptly and swing the blond around such that we can kiss briefly, but deeply. After I break the kiss, Seifer presses his lips against my temple before saying, "Thank you."

Stepping away, I wave the keys I stole from his pocket. "No, thank _you_."

Half-heartedly he grabs for the keys, but I easily escape and stride up to the car Laguna gifted to us for our fifth anniversary. Failing at an angered expression, Seifer smirks at me while slipping into the passenger seat. From behind him, Asher fidgets in his seat while avoiding my gaze.

"Is something wrong?" I ask him.

Shyly blue-green eyes glance up at me from beneath dark lashes. "Are you and Papa gonna have another kid someday?"

I freeze in mid-motion of putting on my seatbelt, my thoughts stalling at the innocent question.

Seifer isn't so inhibited as he laughs. "Sorry, kiddo, but you are it for us. We love you too much to spare anything on another child."

The boy pouts a little, him not completely believing the excuse, but there are no further questions about the matter. At least for now.

During the long drive to the Esthar capital, it's no surprise when the young boy eventually falls asleep. With the child's question still ringing within my mind, I ask Seifer, "Did you want more?"

He looks over at me, something about his expression telling me that he had been waiting for the question. "You've given me everything, Squally-boy. How could I ask for more?"

"Ham," I mutter while trying to fight a relieved smile.

His hand gripping my thigh, he says in a soft voice, "Maybe, but it's still the truth."

Placing my hand over his, I glance up into the rearview mirror and watch our sleeping son for a brief time before returning my attention to the desert in front of me. It's sometimes hard to believe any of this is real, that I'm currently driving to visit my father with my husband and son. Less than a decade previous, I would've laughed at anyone who could have told me that this was my future. Perhaps the surrealism of it all actually helps me to better appreciate everything that I have been blessed with. I have to enjoy every second that I can for fear that this could all be a simple dream and morning will arrive at any moment.

That in mind, I squeeze Seifer's hand and tell him, "Laguna mentioned a short while ago that he has been meaning to take Asher to that new amusement park, but he wanted to spend more than just a day there..."

Reversing the hand hold, Seifer pulls my arm closer to him such that he can kiss the underside of my wrist. "Now that's what I'm talking about."

 

{Owari}


End file.
